Casino Cruiser Gifts

'I'll bet you fifty dollars that you can't stop gambling' Colour

A fruit machine player is surprised to win real fruit.

Luck Accounted For

'Keno?...Keno?'

'It was nothing personal, Joe. I merely asked whether a card was missing.'

Cimafunk

Man is caught swimming on an inflable float in a moat by the knights.

The Slug Replaces the Cheetah as the Fastest Animal on Earth.

'Do you know the way to San Jose without breaking into a Bacharach number?'

Mountain bikes and molehill bikes.

'It's St Patrick's Day...I thought you called this car your lucky charm??!'

'I was just beginning to think about my portfolio. Now you're telling me to rethink it.'

"Balance is essential, Ray. For example, this week, my life is purpost-driven, and I'll follow that with seven days of aimless drifting!"

Spinner luggage is fast becoming the city walker's, walking companion of choice. There's no stopping, no mess, nor butt sniffing, with the added bonus that it comes with you when you go on holidays. . ."

"I'd rather be at the office."

"I'm looking for a car with backseat performance."

'I've never eaten here. I come for the broadband.'

'I realize you love my boat, but you've been on it for nearly a month now. Do me a favor and go home.'

"Over the river and through a ridiculous detour that has us in the middle of who-knows-where, to Grandfather’s house we go!"

Playboy has rigged his car with a loveseat

'My wife insisted I stop and ask someone for directions. Could you just pretend you're giving them to me?'

Sports car.

Now Entering Wyoming (or one of those other rectangular states that are out west someplace).

Mount Rushmore waves back to tourists.

Somewhere In France...The Watsons have just discovered that English is not the universal language after all.

'It's very nice, but it's not really me. Do you have any of those little round, hollow, plastic balls?'

Slow, merge left, resume speed, stop, stay, sit, roll over, good boy!

Employee Parking. The only way my boss practices "top-down" management is by driving a convertible.

"I suggest we either move the chair further inland, or get a higher chair."

Heart of America or Bypass

"Imagine yourself: driving up the coast, the top down, tears streaming down your face because your wife had no choice but to kick you out, this time for good."

'Top dog or not, you gotta slow down.'

"With my handicap I can park just about anywhere I want to!"

'University tenure, now there's a sweet gig.'

'Stop complaining. We can't afford a car with airbags.'