Casual Cruiser Gifts

Mountain bikes and molehill bikes.

"Balance is essential, Ray. For example, this week, my life is purpost-driven, and I'll follow that with seven days of aimless drifting!"

Mr. Punch in Venice

'Do you know the way to San Jose without breaking into a Bacharach number?'

The Slug Replaces the Cheetah as the Fastest Animal on Earth.

French Early Bird

'It's St Patrick's Day...I thought you called this car your lucky charm??!'

"Nobody listens to me complain quite like you do."

"How long have you felt like a three-masted schooner?"

"I'm looking for a car with backseat performance."

'I've never eaten here. I come for the broadband.'

Bargeman on a canal boat.

Fighting Gondoliers.

"Over the river and through a ridiculous detour that has us in the middle of who-knows-where, to Grandfather’s house we go!"

Playboy has rigged his car with a loveseat

'I realize you love my boat, but you've been on it for nearly a month now. Do me a favor and go home.'

"After the truffle season peaks, we like to kick back and do a little clamming."

'My wife insisted I stop and ask someone for directions. Could you just pretend you're giving them to me?'

Sports car.

"I'd better get a hit country song out of growing up this way."

Now Entering Wyoming (or one of those other rectangular states that are out west someplace).

Mount Rushmore waves back to tourists.

Slow, merge left, resume speed, stop, stay, sit, roll over, good boy!

Mildred takes a shortcut to the shops. . .

'It's very nice, but it's not really me. Do you have any of those little round, hollow, plastic balls?'

Employee Parking. The only way my boss practices "top-down" management is by driving a convertible.

"We didn't know you had a rush hour."

"I suggest we either move the chair further inland, or get a higher chair."

Heart of America or Bypass

'It IS an interesting hat isn't it? I made it from the skin of the last dog that fouled my mooring ropes!'

Ignore him he's just showing off

"Amsterdam? Boy, am I lost!"

'I didn't always want to be a gondolier. My first love was the Church.'

"With my handicap I can park just about anywhere I want to!"

'You go and take stacks of photos. I'm going to read and I'll look at them when we get back to England.'