Casino Cruiser T-Shirts

'I'll bet you fifty dollars that you can't stop gambling' Colour

A fruit machine player is surprised to win real fruit.

Luck Accounted For

'Keno?...Keno?'

'It was nothing personal, Joe. I merely asked whether a card was missing.'

The Slug Replaces the Cheetah as the Fastest Animal on Earth.

Mountain bikes and molehill bikes.

'It's St Patrick's Day...I thought you called this car your lucky charm??!'

'I was just beginning to think about my portfolio. Now you're telling me to rethink it.'

"Balance is essential, Ray. For example, this week, my life is purpost-driven, and I'll follow that with seven days of aimless drifting!"

"I'd rather be at the office."

"I'm looking for a car with backseat performance."

Spinner luggage is fast becoming the city walker's, walking companion of choice. There's no stopping, no mess, nor butt sniffing, with the added bonus that it comes with you when you go on holidays. . ."

'I've never eaten here. I come for the broadband.'

'I realize you love my boat, but you've been on it for nearly a month now. Do me a favor and go home.'

Playboy has rigged his car with a loveseat

"Over the river and through a ridiculous detour that has us in the middle of who-knows-where, to Grandfather’s house we go!"

'My wife insisted I stop and ask someone for directions. Could you just pretend you're giving them to me?'

Sports car.

Now Entering Wyoming (or one of those other rectangular states that are out west someplace).

Somewhere In France...The Watsons have just discovered that English is not the universal language after all.

Mount Rushmore waves back to tourists.

'It's very nice, but it's not really me. Do you have any of those little round, hollow, plastic balls?'

Slow, merge left, resume speed, stop, stay, sit, roll over, good boy!

"Imagine yourself: driving up the coast, the top down, tears streaming down your face because your wife had no choice but to kick you out, this time for good."

'Top dog or not, you gotta slow down.'

Heart of America or Bypass

"With my handicap I can park just about anywhere I want to!"

'University tenure, now there's a sweet gig.'

'Stop complaining. We can't afford a car with airbags.'

'What's your fish finder say?'

Caution: Stuff and things next 4 miles

Acmeville welcomes you to leave your carbon footprint here.

'I know, I know, you told me not to buy a convertible!'