Carnivores In Denial Gifts

"Oh, I don't mind! Anything that tastes like a ten ounce, medium rare, rib-eye steak."

"And I'll have that lightly sedated, please."

'We'll never be able to eat it all before it spoils -- how about a rabbit or something instead?'

"What!?! I like a nice salad every now and then, too. What of it?"

"May I offer you a side of life insurance?"

Fast Food Dieter

Gazelle Pizza#:'You guys aren't interested in pizza are you?'

A butcher and his apprentice.

'White meat or dark?'

'I'm not sure how to break this to you all... the Atkins diet is back.'

'Health Benefits of a Vegan Diet... How the heck did this get here?'

"He's a fussy eater."

"For the health-conscious, we suggest you chase your own zebra."

'I told you not to order the stake.'

"So who gets the rib eye and who gets the salad?"

"You asked me to keep a food diary, this is last week's!"

The food was nice...but something was missing.

'Oh ya! I didn't tell you guys. I'm a vegetarian now.'

'OK, it's a deal: I'll get you a Christmas Turkey if you get me a big Salmon...'

'Eat my vegetables? - I thought we were supposed to be predators!'

"We're wolves, Jessica. We eat veal."

We'll have whatever they are

'Not at all, Mr. Porker, we already have several pigs working in our company cafeteria.'

Dr Atkins on a date: 'Why does he keep looking at me like I'm a piece of meat?'

The good and bad news for the species is we have less fat than beef.

'First, wool. Then, lamb chops, Now they've got us creating antibiotics for them.'

'Now that I can afford anything on the menu, I can't digest anything on the menu.'

"I refuse to eat vegan food. I'm an omnivore, me!"

A real turkey lunch.

'I hate to tell you this...but you're going to have to give up red meat.'

'. . . And for all you vegetarians out there the Venus Flytrap.'

"Damn straight, if the food chain ain't broke, don't fix it."

Ill Advised Vegan Survey

"Do you have a vegetarian option?"

Vegetarian Nightmare