Carnivore Irony Gifts

'Health Benefits of a Vegan Diet... How the heck did this get here?'

'Don't order the Super Duper Jumbo Special.'

"And I'll have that lightly sedated, please."

'We'll never be able to eat it all before it spoils -- how about a rabbit or something instead?'

'10,000 years and no one's improved on the idea of meat on a stick!'

"May I offer you a side of life insurance?"

"What!?! I like a nice salad every now and then, too. What of it?"

A butcher and his apprentice.

'That was the best 'Filet Magnon' I've had in a while.'

"So who gets the rib eye and who gets the salad?"

'Not at all, Mr. Porker, we already have several pigs working in our company cafeteria.'

The food was nice...but something was missing.

'Oh ya! I didn't tell you guys. I'm a vegetarian now.'

'Eat my vegetables? - I thought we were supposed to be predators!'

"Sorry sir, it appears that we're out of chicken fingers."

We'll have whatever they are

Dog working as a butcher.

Pig in the back room sits quivering as the chef offers bacon bits to a customer.

A real turkey lunch.

'I hate to tell you this...but you're going to have to give up red meat.'

'. . . And for all you vegetarians out there the Venus Flytrap.'

'The only problem being a Beefeater is that I'm a vegetarian.'

Ill Advised Vegan Survey

Mary had a little lamb. And some mashed potatoes.

"Oh, I don't mind! Anything that tastes like a ten ounce, medium rare, rib-eye steak."

"Do you have a vegetarian option?"

A rump of butchers

"Damn straight, if the food chain ain't broke, don't fix it."

"So do you want white or green meat?"

Eat beef this Christmas!

"You got lucky with that field trip, Phil. But it'll never work a second time."