Carnivore Irony Gifts

'Health Benefits of a Vegan Diet... How the heck did this get here?'

'Don't order the Super Duper Jumbo Special.'

"And I'll have that lightly sedated, please."

'We'll never be able to eat it all before it spoils -- how about a rabbit or something instead?'

'10,000 years and no one's improved on the idea of meat on a stick!'

"What!?! I like a nice salad every now and then, too. What of it?"

"May I offer you a side of life insurance?"

A butcher and his apprentice.

'That was the best 'Filet Magnon' I've had in a while.'

"Man, what I wouldn't do for one of those free-range meals right now."

'I told you not to order the stake.'

"So who gets the rib eye and who gets the salad?"

We'll have whatever they are

'Eat my vegetables? - I thought we were supposed to be predators!'

'Oh ya! I didn't tell you guys. I'm a vegetarian now.'

'Not at all, Mr. Porker, we already have several pigs working in our company cafeteria.'

Dr Atkins on a date: 'Why does he keep looking at me like I'm a piece of meat?'

"Sorry sir, it appears that we're out of chicken fingers."

The food was nice...but something was missing.

A real turkey lunch.

Nobody's perfect.

Pig in the back room sits quivering as the chef offers bacon bits to a customer.

Dog working as a butcher.

'I hate to tell you this...but you're going to have to give up red meat.'

'. . . And for all you vegetarians out there the Venus Flytrap.'

'The only problem being a Beefeater is that I'm a vegetarian.'

Mary had a little lamb. And some mashed potatoes.

Burger Shack. I'm trying to go vegan, but I still sneak away for an occasional burger. You need a little "meat time"!

Ill Advised Vegan Survey

"Oh, I don't mind! Anything that tastes like a ten ounce, medium rare, rib-eye steak."

A rump of butchers

"Do you have a vegetarian option?"

"Damn straight, if the food chain ain't broke, don't fix it."

"So do you want white or green meat?"

Eat beef this Christmas!