Carnivore Critic Gifts

"Do you have a vegetarian option?"

"And I'll also take my steak raw thank you."

One Man's Meat is Another Man's Poetry

'Oh, and I suppose I'm the only one who's ever heard it's a 'dog eat dog world'?'

'Don't order the Super Duper Jumbo Special.'

"And I'll have that lightly sedated, please."

'We'll never be able to eat it all before it spoils -- how about a rabbit or something instead?'

"Gazelle's pizza! Delivered fast and delicious... Um, you guys aren't interested in pizza are you!?"

'10,000 years and no one's improved on the idea of meat on a stick!'

"May I offer you a side of life insurance?"

A butcher and his apprentice.

I Heart Dinosaurs Chef

'White meat or dark?'

'Health Benefits of a Vegan Diet... How the heck did this get here?'

'That was the best 'Filet Magnon' I've had in a while.'

The Butcher of 35th street.

Cooked rare.

'I dunno. Maybe we need a new slogan.'

'No! Not rare, not medium, not well-done: I want my steak raw! Thank you...'

Sick Of A Low-Carb Diet

"Hurry, dear, it's the Brutal Gourmet."

'Your businessman's lunch, sir — Raw meat and whiskey.'

"So who gets the rib eye and who gets the salad?"

Caveman restaurant: Oogs Pieces of cooked meet: Over one Dozen Served.

Too rare perhaps?

'I wonder if we're getting enough fibre?'

'Would you like it rare, very rare or still running? We close in twenty minutes.'

"Oh yes sir, white collar—very tender."

Ground Game!

"The abattoir hasn't any butchers so you'll have to help yourself a bit more than usual."

'Not at all, Mr. Porker, we already have several pigs working in our company cafeteria.'

"Forget cholesterol. We eat meat, and that's that."

"Check this out. If you pace back and forth, it hypnotizes them and they give you a steak."