Ironic Carnivore Gifts

Mary had a little lamb. And some mashed potatoes.

Cloud Cuckoo Land, Hamburger bar, "I don't like the look of this Charlie"

'Don't order the Super Duper Jumbo Special.'

'Be honest. Does this double bacon cheeseburger with large fries and shake make me look fat?'

"And I'll have that lightly sedated, please."

'We'll never be able to eat it all before it spoils -- how about a rabbit or something instead?'

"The salad should be delicious. We ordered it with lots of extra bacon bits."

'10,000 years and no one's improved on the idea of meat on a stick!'

*=Hotdog

"Namasteak"

'What?! Not even one of you wants to see how they're made?'

'Health Benefits of a Vegan Diet... How the heck did this get here?'

'That was the best 'Filet Magnon' I've had in a while.'

"When it's extremely cold out, I prefer flambés to winter stews."

'Of course they're not working. You're not supposed to have appetite suppressants for dessert.'

All You Can Eat Buffet: "Remember, my safe word is 'Diabetes.'"

Scientists Discover the Gene for Heterosexuality in Men

'Break's over, 'No-Lips!' I got a rush order for one chicken-fried steak!'

'Two more strawberry creams and that's my ' five a day' taken care of....'

'Dreamy! Now how many pounds of beef can you put on one bun?'

Food-Snob Fear Factor

"There's been a terrible mistake!!"

100% organic pork sausages

'I'm amazed they had ANY meat in them.'

"Two steaks, cruelly raised and brutally slaughtered. Enjoy!"

It occurred to Norman that he was using far, far too much salt.

Cow sees farmer as cuts of meat

'We lit the fire and we're cooking the meat.' 'Hey - easy with the technobabble.'

Dog working as a butcher.

Pig in the back room sits quivering as the chef offers bacon bits to a customer.

"Hey, where's Frank?"

A real turkey lunch.

'Bad news... all our tests came back with you as delicious.'

"I'm one of those vegetarians who eat meat."

'The only problem being a Beefeater is that I'm a vegetarian.'