Carnivore Prankster Gifts

'. . . And for all you vegetarians out there the Venus Flytrap.'

'Don't order the Super Duper Jumbo Special.'

'We'll never be able to eat it all before it spoils -- how about a rabbit or something instead?'

'10,000 years and no one's improved on the idea of meat on a stick!'

"The chef ran out of the shiitake-infused sweet potato au gratin, so he substituted hash browns."

"What!?! I like a nice salad every now and then, too. What of it?"

'White meat or dark?'

I Heart Dinosaurs Chef

"I'm not trying to freak you out, but your eel roll is moving."

*=Hotdog

'Health Benefits of a Vegan Diet... How the heck did this get here?'

'That was the best 'Filet Magnon' I've had in a while.'

"Here's the pub-grub you ordered"

Doughnut Criminals

'Thank you for the turkey, thank you for the dressing, and thank you for the squash, which Mother cleverly refers to as pumpkin pie.'

'Word to the wise: Always check the cheese for pills.'

"Steak for breakfast, steak for lunch, steak for dinner. . . you can't stop evolution!"

Cooked rare.

'I dunno. Maybe we need a new slogan.'

'... we've got a crowd of, oh I'd say fourteen million organisms here for the annual 'Salmonella potato salad bowl'!'

'Nice Touch!'

Pizza Exam: 'Just deliver it around the back of 'B' block. The money will be by the window. . .'

Tiny restaurant portion. Man finds magnifying glass amongst cutlery.

'I wonder if we're getting enough fibre?'

"Don't be alarmed, Lois, but there appears to be a pop-up thermometer protruding from your right buttock."

Clandestine Cuisine

Caveman restaurant: Oogs Pieces of cooked meet: Over one Dozen Served.

Too rare perhaps?

'You ordered the stuffed sea bass, didn't you?'

Fitz wasn't sure if this was a legitimate rescue or just more culinary trickery.

"Hurry, dear, it's the Brutal Gourmet."

"You're just pushing my buttons about all-microwave cooking ... aren't you?"

Winter lunch.