Careful Carrier Gifts

"They just put that to make you handle it with care."

No Immediate Danger

Acme. Breakable prop transporter.

"Helmet, check. Harness, check. Knee and elbow pads, check. You may now push the swing."

Child Being Dirty in the Bath.

'Let's try it once without the parachute.'

"I didn't know it was poison ivy. It didn't have any warning labels."

"You might say I'm middle-of-the-road. I'd buy a fur coat but I wouldn't buy a Japanese fur coat."

Hang on, don't cross now: I can see a car coming...

During a snowfall, it's always best to slow down a bit.

'I'd like to play, but I'm afraid it might void my warranty.'

Them/ Us

Tortoise Goes For A Swim

"On reflection, it might be prudent to leave this one till last..."

"My husband can carry up to fifty times his body weight: he's great to go shopping with..."

At Travel Agent - "We're interested in a no-diarrhea itinery."

'Is it contagious, doctor?'

'Hmmm, this is too good to be true: I can smell a rat...'

Height barrier accident.

"Was there ever a boy scout badge for 'caution'?"

'You should try to be more spontaneous.' 'I shall. When I'm good and ready.'

'As far as we know, no one who has eaten out genetically-modified food has turned into a creature or anything.'

Gymnast on balancing beam about to slip on a banana skin.

'Mom says if you're going to buy anything online,I'm supposed to make sure it's a secure site.'

'Better slow it down a bit.'

Drink Driving

"We'd prefer the sort of place where we won't catch any disfiguring diseases or be killed by fanatics."

"Think again, Bob. Crossing a road is already dangerous enough, but crossing a highway borders on suicidal..."

'Henry's afraid of Sunday drivers.'

Beware of Everything.

Humpty Dumpty! Put on this helmet.

Man with a new purchase about to fall down a hole.

'What did I tell you kids about swimming in the cement hole?'

The Secret of Long Life...

Excess Baggage: When in doubt about eating something sold by a street vendor when you're away from home...Don't.