Careful Calculator Gifts

It seemed to be a good plan....Work until retirement and then nothing but sitting around..."

Worry tank

'This is embarrassing. By MY calculations, the universe should have collapsed in on itself last Wednesday.'

'Unemployed math grad. Will solve quadratic equations for food."

"Have you been working out?"

'Division is just like addition except you have to use a different button on the calculator.'

"I know it looks fine, but let's get an engineer's report and a termite inspection just to be on the safe side."

'I forgave ya for puttin' 'em all in one basket, but this goes too far!'

Geekasaurus.

'I dunno Jim...Accountancy just doesn't thrill me like it used to.'

'I wish there were true and false questions on math tests. At least that way I'd have a 70% chance of getting one right.'

For 29 years, Bert's strategy had been to reach retirement without making any waves,missteps or career-limiting moves. And it might have worked, too, if only he'd foreseen the fossilization risk.

Blaise Pascal

'Well, arithmetic IS important. It let's you understand money so you can buy batteries for your calculator.'

"Do you mind? I'm reading the prospectus carefully before investing."

'... Can Willis come out and calculate formulae?'

"He wants the cat for his next trick. I'd be real careful about this, Eileen."

'Oh yeah, well your dad may have a better calculator, but my dad can add without one.'

'We think it's time we told you - you were early adopted.'

All Eggs in One Basket world headquarters

"Our clients like their accountants to use their 'imagination', but most would still prefer their returns in a spreadsheet."

"Measure twice. Wipe once."

'If the total is wrong, is the whole thing wrong?'

Accountant job

'You have to learn arithmetic in case your computer crashes.'

"Let's eat lunch in the park and play 'Guess that Stranger's Tax Bracket.'"

'Their parents aren't going to be very happy with one of their predictions. They discovered that when they're ready for college, tuition will be around $18,000 a year.'

People think accountancy is just about numbers, but there is also the fractions, the percentages

'I think that's right, but let me check.'

'Mom says if you're going to buy anything online,I'm supposed to make sure it's a secure site.'

'Division is just like addition except you have to use a different button on the calculator.'

'This calculator is no good for my economics class. It has room for only eight digits in the read out window. We're studying the Federal deficit so I'll need at least fifteen digits.'

'1 divided by 9 equals 0.11' - '9 times 0.11 equals 0.99' - 'Mum! My calculator is stealing from me again!' - 'Go play outside, sweetheart.'