Calculator Covert Gifts

'You have to learn arithmetic in case your computer crashes.'

Hiding the electronics.

'This is embarrassing. By MY calculations, the universe should have collapsed in on itself last Wednesday.'

'Unemployed math grad. Will solve quadratic equations for food."

"Have you been working out?"

Bill was so determined to Twitter no one dared tell him he couldn't do it with a calculator.

'Division is just like addition except you have to use a different button on the calculator.'

What luck!

CIA - Incognito/Outcognito.

'I dunno Jim...Accountancy just doesn't thrill me like it used to.'

'I wish there were true and false questions on math tests. At least that way I'd have a 70% chance of getting one right.'

'Decoding is often 1, 14, 20, 9, 3, 12, 9, 13, 1, 3, 20, 9, 3.'

Blaise Pascal

'Well, arithmetic IS important. It let's you understand money so you can buy batteries for your calculator.'

School Supply Room. Look at this -- a calculator, a protractor and a compass! You've discovered the missing weapons of math instruction!

Alternative Accountants

'We think it's time we told you - you were early adopted.'

'Oh yeah, well your dad may have a better calculator, but my dad can add without one.'

"What's this, a confession written in code. . .?"

'Damn, I've forgotten my real name.'

CIA, 'I'm suspended for three months? Great! -- it'll give me time to work on my book!'

Dear Santa- Thanks for the awesome gift! p.s. did you know cellphones have built-in calculators? p.p.s. you suck.

'..And just how long have you two been secretly married?'

Hidden decorations = Covert operations

All Eggs in One Basket world headquarters

"I can't believe I scored so low on my algebra test."

G.P.S. for Poor Math Students

'If the total is wrong, is the whole thing wrong?'

Accountant job

People think accountancy is just about numbers, but there is also the fractions, the percentages

'I think that's right, but let me check.'

'Division is just like addition except you have to use a different button on the calculator.'

'You'll find that math gets easier as you learn how to use a calculator.'

'This calculator is no good for my economics class. It has room for only eight digits in the read out window. We're studying the Federal deficit so I'll need at least fifteen digits.'

'1 divided by 9 equals 0.11' - '9 times 0.11 equals 0.99' - 'Mum! My calculator is stealing from me again!' - 'Go play outside, sweetheart.'