Career Jest Enthusiast Gifts

"Where do you see yourself five beers from now?"

'I have this fear of the real world...'

"I caution everyone to avoid taking the first field reporter job that comes along."

Born In Captivity.

'The shareholders have voted you off the board. We don't feel you're tough enough. On the bright side, you've won this year's Miss Congeniality award.'

'Your resume is impressive, but next time try to shorten it from 100 pages to one.'

'What do you mean, you're tired of the rat race?'

JOIN THE BOY SCOUTS HERE!, ''Trustworthy, friendly, loyal, helpful, kind, courteous, brave, thrifty, obedient and cheerful' -- This is going to look GREAT on my resume!'

'Think of this as a window of opportunity.'

'It could have been worse...she might have chosen banking.'

"It raises trust issues, Mr. Kranse, when your very first question is 'what's the catch?'."

"What's your occupation?"

Corporate Ladder and Corporate Elevator

The world's most unemployable family

"What other skills do you obtain other than being able to answer interview questions?"

"Todd was glad he had a support animal."

"Would you like something you're under qualified for, or something you're overqualified for?"

'Going back to work now that the kids are grown is one thing, Martha. Mounting a hostile takeover bid of my company is another!'

'I have to admit, it is a very attractive package.'

'Nice work, kid. Looks like you might be ready to sit up at the big boys' table.'

"I know you used to be our paperboy. That's why when you leave, you'll find your resume on the roof."

'Get out there and keep your job!'

Now hiring.

"I guess I'll see you around Frank."

"When you promised me 'a set of wheels', I assumed a company car."

'Is that the extent of your work experience, court ordered community service?'

'hard work and more hard work got me where I am today...Not my hard work of course.'

"Excuse me, Mr Newton, but some of the employees think that your promotion has gone to your head."

'You're hired. Go figure.'

"We got him through a firm of headhunters"

'You say here that hard work doesn't scare you as long as you hide your eyes.'

'Of course you can make a great career here! Look at me - when I started working, I was just called 'dude'. Now, only 25 years later, they call me 'MISTER dude'!'

'Running away from the circus to join the world of accountancy isn't working out as I expected. . .'

'Sometimes I think about getting away from all this and get a job as a cab driver in New York city...'

"That was a good interview. Do you have any other questions about this company?"