Career Jest Enthusiast Pillows

"Where do you see yourself five beers from now?"

'I have this fear of the real world...'

"I caution everyone to avoid taking the first field reporter job that comes along."

Born In Captivity.

'The shareholders have voted you off the board. We don't feel you're tough enough. On the bright side, you've won this year's Miss Congeniality award.'

'Your resume is impressive, but next time try to shorten it from 100 pages to one.'

'What do you mean, you're tired of the rat race?'

'Think of this as a window of opportunity.'

JOIN THE BOY SCOUTS HERE!, ''Trustworthy, friendly, loyal, helpful, kind, courteous, brave, thrifty, obedient and cheerful' -- This is going to look GREAT on my resume!'

'It could have been worse...she might have chosen banking.'

"What's your occupation?"

"It raises trust issues, Mr. Kranse, when your very first question is 'what's the catch?'."

The world's most unemployable family

"What other skills do you obtain other than being able to answer interview questions?"

"Todd was glad he had a support animal."

"Would you like something you're under qualified for, or something you're overqualified for?"

'Going back to work now that the kids are grown is one thing, Martha. Mounting a hostile takeover bid of my company is another!'

'Nice work, kid. Looks like you might be ready to sit up at the big boys' table.'

"I guess I'll see you around Frank."

'Get out there and keep your job!'

'hard work and more hard work got me where I am today...Not my hard work of course.'

"I know you used to be our paperboy. That's why when you leave, you'll find your resume on the roof."

'Is that the extent of your work experience, court ordered community service?'

"When you promised me 'a set of wheels', I assumed a company car."

"Excuse me, Mr Newton, but some of the employees think that your promotion has gone to your head."

'You're hired. Go figure.'

"We got him through a firm of headhunters"

'Running away from the circus to join the world of accountancy isn't working out as I expected. . .'

"And someday, when you're a little further up the corporate ladder, maybe we'll let you meet J.R. himself!"

"That was a good interview. Do you have any other questions about this company?"

"...and before that, I was an embryo."

'Our retirement program is that you can resign whenever you want to.'

Just a little heads up!