Car Chaos Captain Gifts

"Walter had an attack of road rage in the driveway."

For some reason, "The Road Less Travelled" GPS package never really caught on...

Is that pancake ready yet?

'It's 10:00. Do you know where your kids are?'

"Cat park"

'Actually, they're pretty nice, once they settle down.'

Disorder in the Court!

Naughty Puppy Dog.

Woman Ruins Fishing Trip By Feeding the Fish.

"Ahoy!"

'When an outboard goes overboard'

'Roger that...I'm taking the first clean shot I can get.'

No wheelies.

Good disciplinarian gaining respect vs. scary nutcase.

'Do you think Doctor could see him soon, I have the dinner to prepare.'

Potty Training.

House with Children - There's my toothbrush!

What's in your back seat? Nothing. There's paper everywhere, and dirty clothes, and something that smells like a drunk threw up and then rolled around in it. That looks like ancient cheese. Introducing: The flaw. You haven't cleaned this since the '90s. Big whoop.

"Jeez, what a day. It's good to be home..."

"Well, what I lack in cognitive thinking skills I more than make in moral flexibility."

Dinner Aboard an East-India Ship (After Cpt. Francis Marryat)

A rowing cox takes a taxi cab.

"If pressured, I will run!"

Rags wanted all the bones all the time.

'Sorry for the inconvenience, sir. Our computer system is acting up.'

'That's the problem with cats - they can be so destructive.'

"Perfect! A table all to ourselves!"

'I don't get too far at home complaining about cubicle. My wife's cubicle has thirty four children in it.'

Parents everywhere: There's no shelter in place.

'Nothing important. Just missing another deadline.'

Road rage on board.

Damn Seagulls

Hooligans at the Euros 2016

Emergencies: The World Economy

The Unalphabetizer