Chaos Captain Gifts

'Dinner time at our house is pretty rough with all the yelling, food fights, and time-outs. The scary thing is we don't even have kids.'

Naughty Puppy Dog.

A rowing cox takes a taxi cab.

Emergency Entrance

Parents everywhere: There's no shelter in place.

No wheelies.

'It's 10:00. Do you know where your kids are?'

'When an outboard goes overboard'

'I don't get too far at home complaining about cubicle. My wife's cubicle has thirty four children in it.'

Disorder in the Court!

Hooligans at the Euros 2016

"Perfect! A table all to ourselves!"

"Jeez, what a day. It's good to be home..."

"Maureen Alsop is leaving her magnolia, and her delphinium and her cats with us this weekend."

Future garbage truck driver.

'What was all that swerving at the cat walk?'

Struggling with issues from his own childhood, the Bedroom Bandit would sneak in and jumble children's room across the nation. Not a mother believed it.

'It wasn't long before Larry realized his calling as a lawyer whisperer...'

Is that pancake ready yet?

'Don't be alarmed if you hear the toilet flush a lot. Since you don't feel well, I thought I'd wash the dishes for you.'

'Hey, everyone! I think I found the bottleneck!'

'Let's pretend I'm a business owner and you're the janitorial service...'

"I'm so good at this!"

"Do you realize that you and I have it in our power to cause quite a brouhaha?'

'I suppose an explanation is in order?'

'You'll find there's no middle ground with Kirk Knoland.'

"Hold on a second, Bob. I'm putting you on a stickie."

'We've moved some fussy people, but she tops it!'

"Isn't it obvious? I'm writing the great American graphic novel."

Stockwell's day

"Funny, I don't remember signing up for this."

"Cat park"

Help! (Woman stuck on washing line).

Caution: use only under child supervison

Dog Day Afternoon