Captain Cubicle Gifts

Sailing enthusiast brings his hobby to his office.

A paperwork machine spews endless paperwork

'Call for you on the cream corn line.'

"I think I've figured out why we can't find the marina."

Captain in a storm

"Yes I know, and you dropped sauce on your shirt."

'If we get out of this alive, I'm going to have a darn good look at your resume.'

"Sorry, Rick, but no thongs means no thongs."

'Well, it wasn't my lucky day... first there was that shark and then I bimped into a bunch of beaver!'

Welsh airport arrivals.

"I tell you, it's a jungle out there!"

Captain Corcoran, Commander of H.M.S. Pinafore

Captain looks out of a porthole and notices that the ship is sinking.

'Trust me, you're not going to need an alarm clock.'

"Give a man a job, and he'll work all day. Teach a man to delegate, and he'll take the rest of the day off."

'I'm thinking of cutting my hours down to 24/7."

'I like to greet the new team members myself.'

Busy day at the office.

"This crew gets 15 miles to the pound of gruel. They're very fuel efficient."

That endless instant between initial eye contact and conscious recognition.

"The Captain really, really hates losing at shuffleboard."

It became increasingly difficult for the captain to reward his crew and still maintain his ferocious reputation.

"How can you feel queasy, we're barely out of port."

Captain Ahab (Ret.)

Verbal Orders

"A storm rages from the East - tell the men to get below and snuggle up for movie night."

'Captain, there's someone pissing in the hold!'

What really happened on the EVER GIVEN

Too much homework: kid with two backpacks.

'Miss Johnson, would you mind ordering me another computer? And you can cancel that call to tech-support.'

Solemn Reference is Made to Mr Bunsby

The crew can no longer tolerate Captain Bligh's ruthless splitting of infinitives."

"Get those decks cleaned you swabs!..."

I'm in the den mom, reading the newspaper for social studies class.