Captain Cubicle Pillows

Sailing enthusiast brings his hobby to his office.

A paperwork machine spews endless paperwork

'Call for you on the cream corn line.'

"I think I've figured out why we can't find the marina."

Captain in a storm

"Yes I know, and you dropped sauce on your shirt."

'If we get out of this alive, I'm going to have a darn good look at your resume.'

"Sorry, Rick, but no thongs means no thongs."

'Well, it wasn't my lucky day... first there was that shark and then I bimped into a bunch of beaver!'

Welsh airport arrivals.

'Trust me, you're not going to need an alarm clock.'

Captain Corcoran, Commander of H.M.S. Pinafore

'I like to greet the new team members myself.'

Captain looks out of a porthole and notices that the ship is sinking.

'I'm thinking of cutting my hours down to 24/7."

"I tell you, it's a jungle out there!"

"Give a man a job, and he'll work all day. Teach a man to delegate, and he'll take the rest of the day off."

"This crew gets 15 miles to the pound of gruel. They're very fuel efficient."

That endless instant between initial eye contact and conscious recognition.

Busy day at the office.

"The Captain really, really hates losing at shuffleboard."

"Awwwk! Mutiny is a go! Pass it on! Awwk!"

It became increasingly difficult for the captain to reward his crew and still maintain his ferocious reputation.

"How can you feel queasy, we're barely out of port."

Captain Ahab (Ret.)

'Captain, we're going to have to ask you to stop spiking the ball.'

Verbal Orders

'Captain, there's someone pissing in the hold!'

Too much homework: kid with two backpacks.

"A storm rages from the East - tell the men to get below and snuggle up for movie night."

What really happened on the EVER GIVEN

'Miss Johnson, would you mind ordering me another computer? And you can cancel that call to tech-support.'

Solemn Reference is Made to Mr Bunsby

"Get those decks cleaned you swabs!..."

The crew can no longer tolerate Captain Bligh's ruthless splitting of infinitives."