Captain Of The Office Crew Pillows

Executive's in and out boxes are labeled - One Ear and The Other.

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

"I think I've figured out why we can't find the marina."

Captain in a storm

Working in the Hazard Zone!

"Would you like some wings?"

"I always thought I'd be good at getting drunk and crying on camera for Bravo."

Newlyweds. . . 10 Years Married. . . 25 Years Married. . . 50+ Years Married.

'We've just become the biggest corporation in America.. let's celebrate today and begin downsizing tomorrow.'

"Do you recall the exact moment the balance of power shifted?"

"'Meetingpalooza' sounded better in the brochure."

'It's my company, I'll decide whether I want to go to the partner's meeting or not.'

'If we get out of this alive, I'm going to have a darn good look at your resume.'

'Well, it wasn't my lucky day... first there was that shark and then I bimped into a bunch of beaver!'

"Sorry, Rick, but no thongs means no thongs."

Welsh airport arrivals.

Local News in Heaven

'I like to greet the new team members myself.'

'Trust me, you're not going to need an alarm clock.'

Captain looks out of a porthole and notices that the ship is sinking.

"Your motivation is that you're a dog and it's food."

"This crew gets 15 miles to the pound of gruel. They're very fuel efficient."

Airport

"The Captain really, really hates losing at shuffleboard."

Hollywood producer.

It became increasingly difficult for the captain to reward his crew and still maintain his ferocious reputation.

"How can you feel queasy, we're barely out of port."

Captain Ahab (Ret.)

So, Leo catches me, devours me...wears make up?"

True Story Movie

"We are now in 'The Galley,' where flight attendants scavenge for food, hoard magazines, hide from passengers and over share details of their personal lives."

"A storm rages from the East - tell the men to get below and snuggle up for movie night."