Captain Of The Office Crew T-Shirts

Executive's in and out boxes are labeled - One Ear and The Other.

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

Captain in a storm

"I think I've figured out why we can't find the marina."

Cut!

"Would you like some wings?"

Working in the Hazard Zone!

"Do you recall the exact moment the balance of power shifted?"

There's a crew here from 60 minutes and they're coming this way.

"I always thought I'd be good at getting drunk and crying on camera for Bravo."

'We've just become the biggest corporation in America.. let's celebrate today and begin downsizing tomorrow.'

Newlyweds. . . 10 Years Married. . . 25 Years Married. . . 50+ Years Married.

"'Meetingpalooza' sounded better in the brochure."

'It's my company, I'll decide whether I want to go to the partner's meeting or not.'

Movie Awards. Winner. It's been a big night for Ernie! He won three times at the movie-set caterer awards! On one set he made a healthy, refreshing beverage that received rave reviews from the cast and crew. He won the "best pitcher" award for it. Did they say he won for best costumes? No, his dressings won. His sticky buns won also. For "best leading roll" performance, right? No, for best "cinnamontography"!

'Well, it wasn't my lucky day... first there was that shark and then I bimped into a bunch of beaver!'

'If we get out of this alive, I'm going to have a darn good look at your resume.'

"Sorry, Rick, but no thongs means no thongs."

Welsh airport arrivals.

Local News in Heaven

Captain looks out of a porthole and notices that the ship is sinking.

'I like to greet the new team members myself.'

'Trust me, you're not going to need an alarm clock.'

"Your motivation is that you're a dog and it's food."

"This crew gets 15 miles to the pound of gruel. They're very fuel efficient."

"Awwwk! Mutiny is a go! Pass it on! Awwk!"

"The Captain really, really hates losing at shuffleboard."

Airport

Hollywood producer.

It became increasingly difficult for the captain to reward his crew and still maintain his ferocious reputation.

"How can you feel queasy, we're barely out of port."

So, Leo catches me, devours me...wears make up?"

Captain Ahab (Ret.)

What really happened on the EVER GIVEN

"We are now in 'The Galley,' where flight attendants scavenge for food, hoard magazines, hide from passengers and over share details of their personal lives."