Captain Of The Canine Crew T-Shirts

"Do you recall the exact moment the balance of power shifted?"

A paperwork machine spews endless paperwork

'I'd say he's 10 percent 'pet' and 90 percent 'Lord and Master of All He Surveys'.'

Captain in a storm

"I think I've figured out why we can't find the marina."

"He's got no idea how to run a Husky team."

Fishermen dread the spot where the lures hang heavy from the trees like Spanish moss.

"I'm beginning to think that buy one, get one free is not always a good thing."

"Um, Larry? That’s not a quail."

'It's okay - he knows how to use the GPS.'

"I'm seeing some dominance issues."

Captain steering house through flood.

"I'm not telling you to stay. I'm talking to the stock market."

'Well, it wasn't my lucky day... first there was that shark and then I bimped into a bunch of beaver!'

"Sorry, Rick, but no thongs means no thongs."

'If we get out of this alive, I'm going to have a darn good look at your resume.'

Welsh airport arrivals.

'I like to greet the new team members myself.'

'Trust me, you're not going to need an alarm clock.'

'Not while I'm driving the boat, Marge, please,'

"The boys at Jack's Bait & Tackle will never believe this one!"

Captain looks out of a porthole and notices that the ship is sinking.

I drive, therefore I am.

'Get up or I'm sending in the cat.'

Dog with Anchor Lead

'I do not pamper the dog, now get out of his chair!'

"This crew gets 15 miles to the pound of gruel. They're very fuel efficient."

The Unsportables: Relay

"The Captain really, really hates losing at shuffleboard."

Dog training

"There's always a period of adjustment whenever you hire a new crew."

It became increasingly difficult for the captain to reward his crew and still maintain his ferocious reputation.

"How can you feel queasy, we're barely out of port."

Captain Ahab (Ret.)