Cattle Captain T-Shirts

'Someday, son, when I've gone to that big roundup in the sky all this will be yours.'

"I think I've figured out why we can't find the marina."

Captain in a storm

'We might make more progress if we try working as a team.'

For some reason, "The Road Less Travelled" GPS package never really caught on...

"Do you recall the exact moment the balance of power shifted?"

'We're taking over tonight, it's the only way to save the farm.'

'Cool! Brownstar Wars!'

"To be clear, I said I want your 'A' game, not your 'Eh?' game."

'It's my company, I'll decide whether I want to go to the partner's meeting or not.'

Captain steering house through flood.

'If we get out of this alive, I'm going to have a darn good look at your resume.'

"Sorry, Rick, but no thongs means no thongs."

'Well, it wasn't my lucky day... first there was that shark and then I bimped into a bunch of beaver!'

Welsh airport arrivals.

'Not while I'm driving the boat, Marge, please,'

'I like to greet the new team members myself.'

'Trust me, you're not going to need an alarm clock.'

Captain looks out of a porthole and notices that the ship is sinking.

"The boys at Jack's Bait & Tackle will never believe this one!"

"This crew gets 15 miles to the pound of gruel. They're very fuel efficient."

"Awfully quiet... Must be a big game on!"

"The Captain really, really hates losing at shuffleboard."

"There's always a period of adjustment whenever you hire a new crew."

It became increasingly difficult for the captain to reward his crew and still maintain his ferocious reputation.

"How can you feel queasy, we're barely out of port."

"In every situation, an executive has to decide whether to lead by consensus, charisma or cattle prod. Trust me... it's not always this easy!"

Glasses on, Crazy Cowman's secret identity was safe

Captain Ahab (Ret.)

'it's the last bite that worries me.'

Romance on the Yacht

"A storm rages from the East - tell the men to get below and snuggle up for movie night."

"Are there any extra crew on board? He still looks hungry."

A cow ventriloquist.