Captain T-Shirts

'This is my new boat. I finally succumbed to pier pressure.'

'The tip of the iceberg.'

'That's New.'

"Don't make eye contact..."

"Admit it, we're nowhere near Penzance!"

The Nor'easter Bunny.

It became increasingly difficult for the captain to reward his crew and still maintain his ferocious reputation.

'The most expensive thing about his boat is his hat.'

'Captain! There aren't enough noodles!!' - (Ship- ACME Novelty Co,)

'You remind me of the ocean. . . you make me sick.'

'What do you mean the men are unhappy! What on earth gives you that idea?'

"How can you feel queasy, we're barely out of port."

In his later years, Redbeard's hearing was to fail him.

'Have you ever noticed how similar the words maroon and moron are?'

"Isn't that other plane awfully close?"

"Look, I'm the bobblehead of this team."

Solemn Reference is Made to Mr Bunsby

Welsh airport arrivals.

'What I need now is a good publicist...'

Ye Old Mariners Inn.

'Captain? The boat is listing badly.'

'No offence, Captain, but two's company, three's a crowd!'

"I know your rations include two limes a day, but please don't do that with them."

"She's sinking alright, Captain. Even the rats are wearing life jackets!"

Rats are abandoning a sinking ship in the bath.

Captain Ahab (Ret.)

The crew can no longer tolerate Captain Bligh's ruthless splitting of infinitives."

"I just don't know if I have the energy to meet new people."

"Damn it, doesn't anybody on this ship have depth perception?"

"How much to insure my artifical leg?"

'I just think it might be a bit too jolly for the captain's taste.'

Naked sailor holding a water filled barrel around his waist

Sailing

'Captain, you're not commanding this life boat after that fiasco.'

'I joined the navy to see the world and I spent four years on a submarine!'