Captains T-Shirts

"Sometimes it sucks to be the Captain."

Profound cogitation of Captain Cuttle

'You dunderheaded swab, I said find me any empty Galleon.'

"I think I've figured out why we can't find the marina."

Captain in a storm

For some reason, "The Road Less Travelled" GPS package never really caught on...

"'Meetingpalooza' sounded better in the brochure."

A massive ship pulls in in Central Park.

'It's my company, I'll decide whether I want to go to the partner's meeting or not.'

Captain steering house through flood.

'Well, it wasn't my lucky day... first there was that shark and then I bimped into a bunch of beaver!'

'If we get out of this alive, I'm going to have a darn good look at your resume.'

"Sorry, Rick, but no thongs means no thongs."

Welsh airport arrivals.

Sea weed harvest.

Captain looks out of a porthole and notices that the ship is sinking.

'Trust me, you're not going to need an alarm clock.'

Frontispiece to 'Dombey and Son'

"The boys at Jack's Bait & Tackle will never believe this one!"

Lighthouse Beam.

'I like to greet the new team members myself.'

'Not while I'm driving the boat, Marge, please,'

Lifesaver!

Internet Cafe.

"This crew gets 15 miles to the pound of gruel. They're very fuel efficient."

Ship upsidedown in a bottle has rescue boat in bottle next to it.

"The Captain really, really hates losing at shuffleboard."

"There's always a period of adjustment whenever you hire a new crew."

It became increasingly difficult for the captain to reward his crew and still maintain his ferocious reputation.

"How can you feel queasy, we're barely out of port."

'May I speak to you alone, Cap'n?'

Captain Ahab (Ret.)

'it's the last bite that worries me.'

'If we took the boat out, it might get dirty or scratched. Can't we sit here for the next several hours and talk about why you accused me of being paranoid?'

"Well, we've learned that passengers will mutiny if they are served meatloaf two days in a row... Even if you do call it the South Sea Surprise on the second day!"