Captain Cranky Cultivator Gifts

Mr. Cranky Pants Plants A garden Part 7

"I think I've figured out why we can't find the marina."

Captain in a storm

"Looks like we grafted a few too many human genes into the kohlrabi."

"Yes I know, and you dropped sauce on your shirt."

"I wanted to plant my own food, but I couldn't find bacon seeds!"

'If we get out of this alive, I'm going to have a darn good look at your resume.'

"Sorry, Rick, but no thongs means no thongs."

'Well, it wasn't my lucky day... first there was that shark and then I bimped into a bunch of beaver!'

Welsh airport arrivals.

Captain looks out of a porthole and notices that the ship is sinking.

'I like to greet the new team members myself.'

'Trust me, you're not going to need an alarm clock.'

"This crew gets 15 miles to the pound of gruel. They're very fuel efficient."

"Awwwk! Mutiny is a go! Pass it on! Awwk!"

"The Captain really, really hates losing at shuffleboard."

It became increasingly difficult for the captain to reward his crew and still maintain his ferocious reputation.

"How can you feel queasy, we're barely out of port."

'Captain, we're going to have to ask you to stop spiking the ball.'

Captain Ahab (Ret.)

Watering the garden in the rain.

'Captain, there's someone pissing in the hold!'

Verbal Orders

"A storm rages from the East - tell the men to get below and snuggle up for movie night."

What really happened on the EVER GIVEN

Old MacDonald had a genetically modified farm.

Solemn Reference is Made to Mr Bunsby

The crew can no longer tolerate Captain Bligh's ruthless splitting of infinitives."

"Get those decks cleaned you swabs!..."

"Sorry, Captain, but we have to let you go. You just lack leader-ship skills."

Help! Trapped on a desert island cartoon...

"This is their way of reminding us how we're losing our best hope for Olympic Gold."

'Well, we still think you're a naughty boy, running away to sea like that!'

'So it's true that dolphins help navigate.'

"Wait...Did I Say 'North'?"