Captain Crazy Gifts

"While registering online, little Ahab had confused fencing and flensing,"

"Yes I know, and you dropped sauce on your shirt."

Upper class child with toy cruise ship.

Crew Goofs Off While Out Of Sight

'Don't write on that wall with crayons! It'll show up better on that wall over there.'

'No! That's not a wall safe, it's a porthole!'

Sportknitting

"Sorry Capt., but it's a pretty bad termite infestation..."

'At least the bigger prop gives us more thrust.'

For the third time that week somebody had super-glued the manager to his seat. It was great for team morale.

"Shake yer booty!"

"Ahoy!"

Another Truism Bites the Dust.

Financial Pirates

"Large destroyer on the horizon, captain."

'Roger that...I'm taking the first clean shot I can get.'

'What do you mean the men are unhappy! What on earth gives you that idea?'

...or how about this gorgeous little puppy ma'am? He's a Labrador Collie cross.

Potty Training.

'Quick! sell me a lure,any lure,I just found an empty compartment in my tackle box.'

"Now just relax and leave everything to Doctor Jones here. He's the best there is in the entire medical field of quackupuncture."

'One day, this will make a wonderful metaphor.'

A pirate fishes using his hook.

Man photographing fish through magnifying glass

'Closer... closer...'

"For the trip, I also got us two of each kind of donut."

"Spinning, reefing, tacking...they sound like a dress making circle."

'I got tired of trying to get it into one of those tiny bottles.'

Rags wanted all the bones all the time.

Milking small business.

'Nothing important. Just missing another deadline.'

Damn Seagulls