Captain Crazy Gifts

"While registering online, little Ahab had confused fencing and flensing,"

"Yes I know, and you dropped sauce on your shirt."

Upper class child with toy cruise ship.

Crew Goofs Off While Out Of Sight

'Don't write on that wall with crayons! It'll show up better on that wall over there.'

'Captain, we're going to have to ask you to stop spiking the ball.'

'No! That's not a wall safe, it's a porthole!'

Sportknitting

Another Truism Bites the Dust.

'At least the bigger prop gives us more thrust.'

"Shake yer booty!"

Mr. Cranky Pants Plants A garden Part 7

"Sorry Capt., but it's a pretty bad termite infestation..."

"Ahoy!"

For the third time that week somebody had super-glued the manager to his seat. It was great for team morale.

'Roger that...I'm taking the first clean shot I can get.'

"Large destroyer on the horizon, captain."

Financial Pirates

'What do you mean the men are unhappy! What on earth gives you that idea?'

...or how about this gorgeous little puppy ma'am? He's a Labrador Collie cross.

"Now just relax and leave everything to Doctor Jones here. He's the best there is in the entire medical field of quackupuncture."

'Quick! sell me a lure,any lure,I just found an empty compartment in my tackle box.'

Potty Training.

'One day, this will make a wonderful metaphor.'

A pirate fishes using his hook.

Man photographing fish through magnifying glass

'Closer... closer...'

Recovery We Can't Afford

'I got tired of trying to get it into one of those tiny bottles.'

Rags wanted all the bones all the time.

Milking small business.

"Spinning, reefing, tacking...they sound like a dress making circle."

"For the trip, I also got us two of each kind of donut."

'Nothing important. Just missing another deadline.'

Damn Seagulls