Captain Capitalism Gifts

"I think I've figured out why we can't find the marina."

Captain in a storm

"Cash, Jordan. That's what separates man from the apes."

'We've just become the biggest corporation in America.. let's celebrate today and begin downsizing tomorrow.'

"Sorry, Rick, but no thongs means no thongs."

'If we get out of this alive, I'm going to have a darn good look at your resume.'

'Well, it wasn't my lucky day... first there was that shark and then I bimped into a bunch of beaver!'

The man who invented the wheel/The man who patented the wheel.

Welsh airport arrivals.

Captain looks out of a porthole and notices that the ship is sinking.

'Trust me, you're not going to need an alarm clock.'

'I like to greet the new team members myself.'

First Church of the Almighty Dollar.

Counting my Bonus...

"The Captain really, really hates losing at shuffleboard."

"This crew gets 15 miles to the pound of gruel. They're very fuel efficient."

It became increasingly difficult for the captain to reward his crew and still maintain his ferocious reputation.

"How can you feel queasy, we're barely out of port."

Captain Ahab (Ret.)

Verbal Orders

What really happened on the EVER GIVEN

"A storm rages from the East - tell the men to get below and snuggle up for movie night."

'Captain, there's someone pissing in the hold!'

'Today, stocks rose on the news that the more people have, the more they want.'

Big business is not evil

World Economics

Solemn Reference is Made to Mr Bunsby

Capitalism gone nuts!

"Get those decks cleaned you swabs!..."

The crew can no longer tolerate Captain Bligh's ruthless splitting of infinitives."

'Pictures of your family?'

'So it's true that dolphins help navigate.'