Captain Clean Gifts

He's the most obsessively neat captain I've ever worked for --- He has a dustbuster instead of a hook.

Remote control pirate bully

Football Fans

"I think I've figured out why we can't find the marina."

Captain in a storm

"Yes I know, and you dropped sauce on your shirt."

'If we get out of this alive, I'm going to have a darn good look at your resume.'

"Sorry, Rick, but no thongs means no thongs."

'Well, it wasn't my lucky day... first there was that shark and then I bimped into a bunch of beaver!'

Welsh airport arrivals.

Captain looks out of a porthole and notices that the ship is sinking.

Captain Corcoran, Commander of H.M.S. Pinafore

'I like to greet the new team members myself.'

'Trust me, you're not going to need an alarm clock.'

"This crew gets 15 miles to the pound of gruel. They're very fuel efficient."

"Awwwk! Mutiny is a go! Pass it on! Awwk!"

'You'll be broadening up your horizons in a cubicle.'

"The Captain really, really hates losing at shuffleboard."

It became increasingly difficult for the captain to reward his crew and still maintain his ferocious reputation.

"How can you feel queasy, we're barely out of port."

Captain Ahab (Ret.)

"A storm rages from the East - tell the men to get below and snuggle up for movie night."

What really happened on the EVER GIVEN

And overcoming their resistance by sheer skill.

Verbal Orders

'Captain, there's someone pissing in the hold!'

Solemn Reference is Made to Mr Bunsby

The crew can no longer tolerate Captain Bligh's ruthless splitting of infinitives."

"Get those decks cleaned you swabs!..."

Help! Trapped on a desert island cartoon...

"Sorry, Captain, but we have to let you go. You just lack leader-ship skills."

"This is their way of reminding us how we're losing our best hope for Olympic Gold."

'Well, we still think you're a naughty boy, running away to sea like that!'

'So it's true that dolphins help navigate.'

"Wait...Did I Say 'North'?"