Cool Captain Gifts

"Come on Frank. I didn't mean to catch a bigger fish than you."

"I think I've figured out why we can't find the marina."

Captain in a storm

For some reason, "The Road Less Travelled" GPS package never really caught on...

Upper class child with toy cruise ship.

Crew Goofs Off While Out Of Sight

'Rehab centre' "I'm addicted to Irvine Welsh"

'If we get out of this alive, I'm going to have a darn good look at your resume.'

"Sorry, Rick, but no thongs means no thongs."

'Well, it wasn't my lucky day... first there was that shark and then I bimped into a bunch of beaver!'

Welsh airport arrivals.

Captain looks out of a porthole and notices that the ship is sinking.

'I like to greet the new team members myself.'

'Trust me, you're not going to need an alarm clock.'

'I'm a SNOOOW-Man,...doo-doot-doo-doo, doo-doot-doo-doo, I'm a SNOOOW-Man!...'

"This crew gets 15 miles to the pound of gruel. They're very fuel efficient."

"Awwwk! Mutiny is a go! Pass it on! Awwk!"

"The Captain really, really hates losing at shuffleboard."

It became increasingly difficult for the captain to reward his crew and still maintain his ferocious reputation.

"How can you feel queasy, we're barely out of port."

Captain Ahab (Ret.)

What really happened on the EVER GIVEN

'Captain, there's someone pissing in the hold!'

"A storm rages from the East - tell the men to get below and snuggle up for movie night."

Verbal Orders

Solemn Reference is Made to Mr Bunsby

"Get those decks cleaned you swabs!..."

The crew can no longer tolerate Captain Bligh's ruthless splitting of infinitives."

"At ease!"

"Wait...Did I Say 'North'?"

'Well, we still think you're a naughty boy, running away to sea like that!'

"This is their way of reminding us how we're losing our best hope for Olympic Gold."

"Sorry, Captain, but we have to let you go. You just lack leader-ship skills."

Help! Trapped on a desert island cartoon...

'So it's true that dolphins help navigate.'