Calm Captain Gifts

Captain looks out of a porthole and notices that the ship is sinking.

"This is sheer bloody mindfulness."

Bite out of fishing pier.

"If it were painful, could I do this?"

"Geez, from way up here it almost looks like there’s hope for humanity."

"Oh good, more time alone for quiet reflection."

Meditation

The art of yoga is the power of the mind.

Need an elevated state of mind too!

"Have I complimented you on marketing's renewed team spirit?"

Introducing Ambient Books: No beginning...no middle...no end...just a bunch of sentences specially written to soothe and relax the reader.

'I can remember when no one had even heard of t'ai chi.'

Enlightened Cursing

'Calm down darling... now what do you mean the tortoise has gone berserk?'

Ned's Northingness: All the Nothing You Need To Achieve Mindfulness

'Taking the anger management class has made you uncharacteristically nice, sir.'

'Remember, son. A winner is one who can keep his head while all around him are losing theirs.'

Sinking cruise ship, with band member saved by floating on cello.

Tai Chi vs. Chai Tea

Chloe had again chosen tubing the river.

"Oh, you mellow with age alright: I even like the postman now..."

"Mommy needs to get mad at you in a weird calm voice now."

"It wasn't me jumping up and down and yelling in class. It was the sugar talking."

Don't laugh. It's added three points to his scores.

'If you can keep your head while all about are losing theirs...'

Next years calendar.

Chameleon. Calmer Chameleon. Calmer Calmer Calmer Calmer Calmer Chameleon.

"My philosophy has always been 'Don't sweat the small stuff -- it's all small stuff!'"

'Well, you'll just have to CONTROL your urge to yodel!'

'Stocks remained unchanged on news iit's best to let a sleeping dog lie.'

Traffic Sign Haiku

"We always take one piece out."

A pirate fishes using his hook.

"Your blood pressure is completely normal. Are you sure you're married with children?"

Tai Chi