Calm Driver Gifts

Traffic Sign Haiku

"If it were painful, could I do this?"

"I keep telling myself I've got to slow down."

Stop, Smell Roses (stop and smell the roses)

Captain looks out of a porthole and notices that the ship is sinking.

Turmoil change.

'In the few remaining minutes of the lesson I can't do better than to show you how to fill an accident form.'

'Taking the anger management class has made you uncharacteristically nice, sir.'

Relaxation Technique

'Remember, son. A winner is one who can keep his head while all around him are losing theirs.'

"Mommy needs to get mad at you in a weird calm voice now."

Don't laugh. It's added three points to his scores.

Driving home for Christmas.

"This is a computer rage management class. Road rage management is next door."

"This is sheer bloody mindfulness."

"My philosophy has always been 'Don't sweat the small stuff -- it's all small stuff!'"

Roadwork ahead: Proceed cautiously and from love rather than negativity.

'We can exchange information, or, if you prefer, I can punch you in the face and forget the whole thing ever happened.'

Height barrier accident.

Car stickers: GONE FISHING,GONE BERSERK

Tai Chi

"There's no charge—the grinding sound you hear when you're driving is coming from your wife's teeth."

"I coulda been killed had this not deployed. Thank god for my passenger's side handbag!

'I pulled you over because you were driving suspiciously.'

Phil's new yoga-golf technique was beginning to perturb the others.

Drink Driving

'Better slow it down a bit.'

"I wish they had untamed-rage detectors."

If you don't stop texting and driving, I'm pulling myself over and shutting myself off. Autocorrect.

Warning signs - for deer and cars.

The Modern Iconoclast...'Calm down. Things will work out.'

'He must have crept in at night. The important thing is to stay calm.'

"I had you doing six in a five."

GM recall

'He wasn't worried about the insect on his jacket, he just brushed it off.'