Calm Coordinator Gifts

"It wasn't me jumping up and down and yelling in class. It was the sugar talking."

IN box...OUT is wastepaper basket on fire.

The Baby Walker

'From six to to eighteen, they're always at that age.'

"Well, isn't that embarrassing."

'Honey, where's my cell phone?'

"Quick, start the car!"

"The meeting will come to order."

Here and There Trays

"Guys, can you use your Mommy-doesn't-want-to-know-I-exist voices?"

A Communal Breakfast for the Young

Why it's bad when home owners change their minds about the bathroom's location late in a building project.

"Don't tell me... you hired a professional decorator!"

"Force quit! Force quit! Force quit!!"

"If it were painful, could I do this?"

'You'll soon get the hang of it - then they'll change it.'

'Did you bark, M'Lady?'

Riding School Chaos

'Great Therapy!'

Girl who can't cook meets guys who can't fix stuff.

"It's crazy here! They're all on recreational rugs."

"I've told you before one at each end!"

A Highlander Chasing Dogs with a Knife and a Broom.

Bears going water skiing.

'What has twelve legs and barks?'

"Sir, your ducks, they are not in a row."

"But if I don't break stuff who will?"

'I'm glad you're able to be with us more, but I'd appreciate it if you'd say you're 'spending time' with us, not 'doing time' with us.'

'Fred's Office Supply? I'd like to order a dozen more desk bins and a step-ladder please.'

'Truth? I am just looking out the window...'

'We haven't had a family get-together like this since we were kids - Hey! Where are mum and dad?'