Calm Coordinator Gifts

"It wasn't me jumping up and down and yelling in class. It was the sugar talking."

I've always wanted to quit while I was ahead but the opportunity never presented itself.

IN box...OUT is wastepaper basket on fire.

The Baby Walker

'From six to to eighteen, they're always at that age.'

"Well, isn't that embarrassing."

'Honey, where's my cell phone?'

"Quick, start the car!"

"The meeting will come to order."

Sounds that various toys make when they are vacuumed up.

Here and There Trays

"Guys, can you use your Mommy-doesn't-want-to-know-I-exist voices?"

A Communal Breakfast for the Young

'Hey Einstein, how about converting some of your mass into energy and getting this place cleaned up?'

Why it's bad when home owners change their minds about the bathroom's location late in a building project.

"Force quit! Force quit! Force quit!!"

"Don't tell me... you hired a professional decorator!"

"If it were painful, could I do this?"

'You'll soon get the hang of it - then they'll change it.'

Girl who can't cook meets guys who can't fix stuff.

'Great Therapy!'

Bears going water skiing.

'Did you bark, M'Lady?'

"It's crazy here! They're all on recreational rugs."

Riding School Chaos

Mayhem, Inc. Part 29

A Highlander Chasing Dogs with a Knife and a Broom.

'What has twelve legs and barks?'

"I've told you before one at each end!"

"Sir, your ducks, they are not in a row."

"But if I don't break stuff who will?"

'I'm glad you're able to be with us more, but I'd appreciate it if you'd say you're 'spending time' with us, not 'doing time' with us.'

'Fred's Office Supply? I'd like to order a dozen more desk bins and a step-ladder please.'

'We haven't had a family get-together like this since we were kids - Hey! Where are mum and dad?'

'Truth? I am just looking out the window...'