Calm Communicator Gifts

'The therapy is working... I don't use all caps in emails anymore.'

"Remember, Mort: Courage isn't the absence of fear. Courage is remaining media-savvy in the face of fear!"

Don't be alarmed. I'm not falling for it, loser. You can't make Sadie Cohen worry about nothing just by uttering three dumb words. It's probably nothing. Those three won't work either! Nobody panic. Two words won't work either! Munch mun -

"Darn it, she's unreachable when she gets her inbox down to zero."

"No matter how dire the problem...no more memos that start with 'YIKES!'"

"If it were painful, could I do this?"

"Oh good, more time alone for quiet reflection."

"Geez, from way up here it almost looks like there’s hope for humanity."

"Don't even think about it."

Pet Shop - Parrot labeled as 'Good Listener'

"Hire me and I'll bring in orders. Big orders. You're gonna need a bigger door."

Woman followed by devices.

Introducing Ambient Books: No beginning...no middle...no end...just a bunch of sentences specially written to soothe and relax the reader.

'I can remember when no one had even heard of t'ai chi.'

'We just don't talk anymore, Gerald!'

Mime marriage.

"Don't judge me until you've walked a mile on my medication."

I swear, you don't hear a word I don't say.

By teaching the parrot a few key phrases, Marilyn no longer needs to nag her kids.

'Of course, this social contract will have to remain hypothical until someone invents writing.'

"We'll less than two metres again, don't know where, don't know when..."

"Can you teach me to really bark? I only seem to be able to yap..."

"I pick up on people's pain, Alexander. What's wrong?"

'Please join me now in a group meditation.'

Yogi back in 5.

You May Bang Your Head Here/You May Talk To Here.

'Oh sure, Your Honor, he can speak. He's using sign language ...

Relax.

"I am staying ‘present,’ and presently she’s annoying me!"

'Calm down darling... now what do you mean the tortoise has gone berserk?'

Ned's Northingness: All the Nothing You Need To Achieve Mindfulness

"Your free-floating anxiety is floating over to me."

"I've found my voice, Penny. It's deep, wise, and compassionate."

'Why are you being so passive aggressive?'

'Taking the anger management class has made you uncharacteristically nice, sir.'