Calm Under Pressure Gifts

Bite out of fishing pier.

"Your blood pressure is completely normal. Are you sure you're married with children?"

"A man learns a great deal about himself when he's face to face with 49 minutes of tech support on-hold music."

Day after day, year after year, Edna sat at her desk, cool and collected. But, something about her told everyone she was about to erupt.

Man with aeroplane behind him

'Crazy me, I left the bear repellent in the truck. Stay calm, try not to startle him, and I'll hike back and get it.'

"If it were painful, could I do this?"

'Yes, as a matter of fact, you have caught me at a bad time.'

"Oh good, more time alone for quiet reflection."

"Geez, from way up here it almost looks like there’s hope for humanity."

"I know — but he was nervous and his support dog didn’t seem to mind."

Captain looks out of a porthole and notices that the ship is sinking.

Need an elevated state of mind too!

Introducing Ambient Books: No beginning...no middle...no end...just a bunch of sentences specially written to soothe and relax the reader.

'I can remember when no one had even heard of t'ai chi.'

"Remember, Mort: Courage isn't the absence of fear. Courage is remaining media-savvy in the face of fear!"

'Calm down darling... now what do you mean the tortoise has gone berserk?'

"I'm a Doctor and I was in the house, but I have on stage presence."

'Taking the anger management class has made you uncharacteristically nice, sir.'

I love thunderstorms!

'Remember, son. A winner is one who can keep his head while all around him are losing theirs.'

'Only one side effect - colossal pain...'

"I gotta go. I see an opening in the maelstrom."

"Oh, you mellow with age alright: I even like the postman now..."

Chloe had again chosen tubing the river.

"Son, we didn't spend a fortune on your education so you can 'just be yourself.'"

Don't laugh. It's added three points to his scores.

'The therapy is working... I don't use all caps in emails anymore.'

Chameleon. Calmer Chameleon. Calmer Calmer Calmer Calmer Calmer Chameleon.

Traffic Sign Haiku

Don't sweat the small stuff

"No matter how dire the problem...no more memos that start with 'YIKES!'"

"Darn it, she's unreachable when she gets her inbox down to zero."

"This is sheer bloody mindfulness."

"My philosophy has always been 'Don't sweat the small stuff -- it's all small stuff!'"