Calm And Collected Gifts

'Only one side effect - colossal pain...'

"I know — but he was nervous and his support dog didn’t seem to mind."

Bite out of fishing pier.

"They haven't said two words to each other—it's sad... I hope we don't end up like that." "They keep talking to each other—it's exhausting... So glad we don't have to do that."

'Yes, as a matter of fact, you have caught me at a bad time.'

"Geez, from way up here it almost looks like there’s hope for humanity."

"Oh good, more time alone for quiet reflection."

Meditation

Need an elevated state of mind too!

Introducing Ambient Books: No beginning...no middle...no end...just a bunch of sentences specially written to soothe and relax the reader.

"She's been in shavasana for - like - a really long time...."

'I can remember when no one had even heard of t'ai chi.'

Ned's Northingness: All the Nothing You Need To Achieve Mindfulness

'Calm down darling... now what do you mean the tortoise has gone berserk?'

The only creation God was truly proud of was the Sabbath

"Autumn already? O.K., I'll come down."

"See what I mean? People don't know how to relax anymore."

'Taking the anger management class has made you uncharacteristically nice, sir.'

I love thunderstorms!

'Remember, son. A winner is one who can keep his head while all around him are losing theirs.'

Sinking cruise ship, with band member saved by floating on cello.

Tai Chi vs. Chai Tea

'I think you got the drummer - Now try for the trumpet player!'

"I gotta go. I see an opening in the maelstrom."

"If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it — who cares?!"

"It's lonely at the top, but don't you love the solitude."

"I moved out here for peace and quiet, but now I keep talking to myself."

"Oh, you mellow with age alright: I even like the postman now..."

"Mommy needs to get mad at you in a weird calm voice now."

Chameleon. Calmer Chameleon. Calmer Calmer Calmer Calmer Calmer Chameleon.

'That's where he goes to regain his sanity.'

'Well, you'll just have to CONTROL your urge to yodel!'

"This is sheer bloody mindfulness."

'They made him take a vow of silence so he'd have to stop complaining about his oath of poverty.'

Traffic Sign Haiku