Calmness Collector Gifts

"She's been in shavasana for - like - a really long time...."

What's it like having your work hours cut back? It's been interesting, good. I find myself less stressed. For instance, I've got a legal brief due next week and I'm not freaking out. EVEN THOUGH I HAVEN'T EVEN STARTED ON IT YET! You do seem calmer. Quick, I need a pen and a copy of the Constitution.

"Barking sometimes helps me relax. But then it drives the neighbors crazy."

Fight or Flight

"Oh good, more time alone for quiet reflection."

"Well, at least we know she died peacefully."

'Would you be interested in attending a stress management seminar?'

Meditation

"I know — but he was nervous and his support dog didn’t seem to mind."

"I don't care what anybody says, coffee just tastes better in a tree stand. . ."

Introducing Ambient Books: No beginning...no middle...no end...just a bunch of sentences specially written to soothe and relax the reader.

All we have in life is this moment...

Some of us are calm on the surface but paddling like crazy underneath, and some of us are just the opposite.

Anger Management: Breathe in and Breathe out.

Man has a seatbelt and 'calm down tablets' to watch the world news.

'Wait til you see what fishing does for your nerves, Alice.'

"Actually we were hoping you'd be encouraging a more conciliatry approach to conflict management."

'Please join me now in a group meditation.'

"You can tell us the sound of one hand clapping here, or you can tell us downtown."

Relax.

Muzak's Top 10

"The clothes looked extra dirty... so I used the whole box of detergent!"

"You don't get a lot of work done, Jenkins, but I admire how thoroughly unstressed you are."

Ned's Northingness: All the Nothing You Need To Achieve Mindfulness

'Calm down darling... now what do you mean the tortoise has gone berserk?'

'So, your anger management class is working?'

"It's probably just stress, but let's take a look. Open up and say, ARGGGH!!!"

'I feel wired. I want to feel wireless.'

"I used to be a young crazy rebel like you you know."

Sea of Tranquillity

'Fred's a lot more relaxed since he began viewing life as just another spectator sport.'

Tai Chi vs. Chai Tea

'Only one side effect - colossal pain...'

"My neighborhood is getting too noisy. Traffic, screaming kids, barking dogs … I'm used to living in quiet desperation."

"We're usually pretty good at spotting job burn-out before it gets bad, but every now and then, someone slips under our radar!"