Calmness Collector Pillows

"She's been in shavasana for - like - a really long time...."

"Barking sometimes helps me relax. But then it drives the neighbors crazy."

Fight or Flight

"Oh good, more time alone for quiet reflection."

"Well, at least we know she died peacefully."

'Would you be interested in attending a stress management seminar?'

Meditation

"I know — but he was nervous and his support dog didn’t seem to mind."

"I don't care what anybody says, coffee just tastes better in a tree stand. . ."

Introducing Ambient Books: No beginning...no middle...no end...just a bunch of sentences specially written to soothe and relax the reader.

All we have in life is this moment...

Anger Management: Breathe in and Breathe out.

Man has a seatbelt and 'calm down tablets' to watch the world news.

'Wait til you see what fishing does for your nerves, Alice.'

"Actually we were hoping you'd be encouraging a more conciliatry approach to conflict management."

'Please join me now in a group meditation.'

"You can tell us the sound of one hand clapping here, or you can tell us downtown."

Muzak's Top 10

Relax.

'Calm down darling... now what do you mean the tortoise has gone berserk?'

"The clothes looked extra dirty... so I used the whole box of detergent!"

'So, your anger management class is working?'

"You don't get a lot of work done, Jenkins, but I admire how thoroughly unstressed you are."

"It's probably just stress, but let's take a look. Open up and say, ARGGGH!!!"

'I feel wired. I want to feel wireless.'

"I used to be a young crazy rebel like you you know."

'Fred's a lot more relaxed since he began viewing life as just another spectator sport.'

Sea of Tranquillity

'Only one side effect - colossal pain...'

Tai Chi vs. Chai Tea

"We're usually pretty good at spotting job burn-out before it gets bad, but every now and then, someone slips under our radar!"

"My neighborhood is getting too noisy. Traffic, screaming kids, barking dogs … I'm used to living in quiet desperation."

"You claim on your résumé that one of your skills is staying calm under stressful situations. I believe you."