Calmness Enthusiast Pillows

'I wish I could be as calm as JB when it comes to making decisions.'

"You can tell us the sound of one hand clapping here, or you can tell us downtown."

'I feel wired. I want to feel wireless.'

"You don't get a lot of work done, Jenkins, but I admire how thoroughly unstressed you are."

'All I said was - chill out don't flap!'

Sea of Tranquillity

"Hurry! She's calmatose."

"I want you to find your centre."

"Oh good, more time alone for quiet reflection."

"Well, at least we know she died peacefully."

Need an elevated state of mind too!

"She's been in shavasana for - like - a really long time...."

Introducing Ambient Books: No beginning...no middle...no end...just a bunch of sentences specially written to soothe and relax the reader.

When mediation failed, they tried meditation.

'Wait til you see what fishing does for your nerves, Alice.'

'Please join me now in a group meditation.'

Relax.

'Calm down darling... now what do you mean the tortoise has gone berserk?'

'So, your anger management class is working?'

"I used to be a young crazy rebel like you you know."

"See what I mean? People don't know how to relax anymore."

'Fred's a lot more relaxed since he began viewing life as just another spectator sport.'

Sinking cruise ship, with band member saved by floating on cello.

"You claim on your résumé that one of your skills is staying calm under stressful situations. I believe you."

"Now, now, let's try using our NPR voice."

'Before we begin may I emit a prolonged rant about my work week?

Chameleon. Calmer Chameleon. Calmer Calmer Calmer Calmer Calmer Chameleon.

Consternation/Control

The Zen of Regulation

'I'm shaking a bit!'

She went as far as she could to get away from the paperwork.

This is a library - no sonic booms, please.

I got woken by my neighbour's fire alarm last night. - 'I went to dial 999 but I hit the 'hash' key by accident.' - 'I got put through to the Jamaican Embassy...' - 'They just said, 'Take it easy, Peel. Everything is gonna be alright.'' -

"I don't think you'll still be that 'Zen' when I tell you someone's nicked your cheese and pickle sandwich from the fridge."

Anger Management Class.