Calmness Explorer Gifts

'Fred's a lot more relaxed since he began viewing life as just another spectator sport.'

"Barking sometimes helps me relax. But then it drives the neighbors crazy."

Fight or Flight

"Oh good, more time alone for quiet reflection."

"Geez, from way up here it almost looks like there’s hope for humanity."

"Well, at least we know she died peacefully."

'Would you be interested in attending a stress management seminar?'

The art of yoga is the power of the mind.

"I don't care what anybody says, coffee just tastes better in a tree stand. . ."

Introducing Ambient Books: No beginning...no middle...no end...just a bunch of sentences specially written to soothe and relax the reader.

'I can remember when no one had even heard of t'ai chi.'

"She's been in shavasana for - like - a really long time...."

Anger Management: Breathe in and Breathe out.

'Wait til you see what fishing does for your nerves, Alice.'

Man has a seatbelt and 'calm down tablets' to watch the world news.

"Actually we were hoping you'd be encouraging a more conciliatry approach to conflict management."

'Please join me now in a group meditation.'

"You can tell us the sound of one hand clapping here, or you can tell us downtown."

Muzak's Top 10

Relax.

'Calm down darling... now what do you mean the tortoise has gone berserk?'

"You don't get a lot of work done, Jenkins, but I admire how thoroughly unstressed you are."

'So, your anger management class is working?'

"It's probably just stress, but let's take a look. Open up and say, ARGGGH!!!"

"I used to be a young crazy rebel like you you know."

'I feel wired. I want to feel wireless.'

Sea of Tranquillity

Sinking cruise ship, with band member saved by floating on cello.

"My neighborhood is getting too noisy. Traffic, screaming kids, barking dogs … I'm used to living in quiet desperation."

Calm in the Face of Chaos

"Is something bothering you?"

"Sit in the car. The doctor will be with you shortly to treat your road rage."

"You claim on your résumé that one of your skills is staying calm under stressful situations. I believe you."