Calmness Explorer T-Shirts

'Fred's a lot more relaxed since he began viewing life as just another spectator sport.'

"Barking sometimes helps me relax. But then it drives the neighbors crazy."

Fight or Flight

"Oh good, more time alone for quiet reflection."

"Geez, from way up here it almost looks like there’s hope for humanity."

"Well, at least we know she died peacefully."

'Would you be interested in attending a stress management seminar?'

"I don't care what anybody says, coffee just tastes better in a tree stand. . ."

The art of yoga is the power of the mind.

"She's been in shavasana for - like - a really long time...."

'I can remember when no one had even heard of t'ai chi.'

Introducing Ambient Books: No beginning...no middle...no end...just a bunch of sentences specially written to soothe and relax the reader.

Some of us are calm on the surface but paddling like crazy underneath, and some of us are just the opposite.

Anger Management: Breathe in and Breathe out.

Man has a seatbelt and 'calm down tablets' to watch the world news.

'Wait til you see what fishing does for your nerves, Alice.'

"Actually we were hoping you'd be encouraging a more conciliatry approach to conflict management."

'Please join me now in a group meditation.'

"You can tell us the sound of one hand clapping here, or you can tell us downtown."

Relax.

Muzak's Top 10

Ned's Northingness: All the Nothing You Need To Achieve Mindfulness

"You don't get a lot of work done, Jenkins, but I admire how thoroughly unstressed you are."

'So, your anger management class is working?'

'Calm down darling... now what do you mean the tortoise has gone berserk?'

"It's probably just stress, but let's take a look. Open up and say, ARGGGH!!!"

'I feel wired. I want to feel wireless.'

"I used to be a young crazy rebel like you you know."

Sea of Tranquillity

Sinking cruise ship, with band member saved by floating on cello.

"My neighborhood is getting too noisy. Traffic, screaming kids, barking dogs … I'm used to living in quiet desperation."

Calm in the Face of Chaos

"Is something bothering you?"

"You claim on your résumé that one of your skills is staying calm under stressful situations. I believe you."

He's been like that for hours - I think he's binge meditating.