Calm And Collected T-Shirts

'Only one side effect - colossal pain...'

"I know — but he was nervous and his support dog didn’t seem to mind."

Bite out of fishing pier.

"They haven't said two words to each other—it's sad... I hope we don't end up like that." "They keep talking to each other—it's exhausting... So glad we don't have to do that."

'Yes, as a matter of fact, you have caught me at a bad time.'

"Oh good, more time alone for quiet reflection."

"Geez, from way up here it almost looks like there’s hope for humanity."

Meditation

Need an elevated state of mind too!

Introducing Ambient Books: No beginning...no middle...no end...just a bunch of sentences specially written to soothe and relax the reader.

"She's been in shavasana for - like - a really long time...."

'I can remember when no one had even heard of t'ai chi.'

The only creation God was truly proud of was the Sabbath

'Calm down darling... now what do you mean the tortoise has gone berserk?'

"See what I mean? People don't know how to relax anymore."

I love thunderstorms!

"Autumn already? O.K., I'll come down."

'Taking the anger management class has made you uncharacteristically nice, sir.'

'Remember, son. A winner is one who can keep his head while all around him are losing theirs.'

Sinking cruise ship, with band member saved by floating on cello.

Tai Chi vs. Chai Tea

'I think you got the drummer - Now try for the trumpet player!'

"Mommy needs to get mad at you in a weird calm voice now."

"I gotta go. I see an opening in the maelstrom."

"If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it — who cares?!"

"Oh, you mellow with age alright: I even like the postman now..."

"I moved out here for peace and quiet, but now I keep talking to myself."

"It's lonely at the top, but don't you love the solitude."

Chameleon. Calmer Chameleon. Calmer Calmer Calmer Calmer Calmer Chameleon.

'That's where he goes to regain his sanity.'

'They made him take a vow of silence so he'd have to stop complaining about his oath of poverty.'

'Well, you'll just have to CONTROL your urge to yodel!'

"This is sheer bloody mindfulness."

Traffic Sign Haiku

"My philosophy has always been 'Don't sweat the small stuff -- it's all small stuff!'"