Calm Connoisseur T-Shirts

"See what I mean? People don't know how to relax anymore."

'Slow down - you'll live longer,'

This is Arron Aaberg...He's a simple man who enjoys peace and quiet....he gets butt dialed every 4 minutes.

"Oh good, more time alone for quiet reflection."

"Well, at least we know she died peacefully."

"OK, last time: Cado teak lounge chair from Denmark – me. Doggy bed – you."

"For dessert, absolutely no flambé!"

"I'm afraid the price would make him toss and turn all night for months!"

Atlas with the earth, says: 'So then I thought, Why not just roll the damn thing?'

Need an elevated state of mind too!

The fate that awaits us all: creeping Rooneyism

"There goes our early night."

"That will be the gold standard by which all other naps are judged."

Man frozen in portrait pose.

Pre-Winter Ennui-'Hon, did you have the furnace checked?'

Bats with blankets.

"You can tell us the sound of one hand clapping here, or you can tell us downtown."

"Just think how much we could save if we switched the heating off altogether."

Moliere

"It says it's the vodka that's distilled twenty-nine times - they just can't seem to get it right."

'I don't like it... It's too quiet.'

"You don't get a lot of work done, Jenkins, but I admire how thoroughly unstressed you are."

'He's so hip he even used rock 'n roll-on deodorant.'

"Cat got your tongue?"

Charles Dickens.

'Calm down darling... now what do you mean the tortoise has gone berserk?'

C Day Lewis.

Bleak House

'The fire seems to be drawing well.'

"I used to be a young crazy rebel like you you know."

'I feel wired. I want to feel wireless.'

'...and to commemorate 20 loyal years to the company, this gold plated sundial.'

'It has a zip-out lining in case of a mild winter.'

All set for the big sleep, Frank? I'm getting there. I've been storing up fat for the winter. And how about Ernie? He's trying something different this year. He's got wi-fi, a game console and virtual reality googles. He's going to cybernate.

Sea of Tranquillity