Canvas Lover Gifts

Jackson Pollock makes a mistake: 'Guess I'll have to start over.'

"The edges are nice and hard, but your colors aren't icky enough."

How Art Works.

'Stupido Digitale! Chucka me a sloppy brush, there's a gooda chap.'

Artist Painting Modern Art.

'Sorry, Steve, but we're trading you to France for two impressionists and a dadaist to be named later.'

(Camel paintings)

'I love my new easylife artist's easel.'

'No, Mr. Simmons, your MR images aren't in yet. We have older equipment, which takes a little longer to process.'

Cat with Nine Still Lives

"It said this 'Spilt Coffee' series afforded her a lifetime of lattes."

"He's an abstract artist."

"I'll give you $5 for that shirt."

Vincent Van Goat.

Art Plagiarism

"It's called 'Sold'."

Instant art

Couple painting each other - one turns to the other and says, 'Hon, let's hire a model.'

Artistic License

'I'm glad you like it, but I haven't started it yet.'

"This one will go with everything,

"In this piece, the price clearly does not reflect what the artist is trying to say."

Before Art School. During Art School. After Art School

"I don't pretend to be great. I merely know myself to be very, very good."

His new 'Absence of Anything' reminds me strangely of his earlier blank 'Nothing to Say' canvasses."

Stu just wanted to participate in the outdoor art class. . . alone. . . but Bob went ahead and invited himself anyway. . .

Trash-talkin' artists

'And you all thought I didn't have a hobby.'

'Honey, I think you overdid the plastic canvas decorations in the bathroom.'

Artist painting a dancer.

"You have indeed purchased an original Rembrandt. A Ralph Rembrandt."

The painting Painter

David Hockney

"But is it..?"

'Aside from your plastic canvas projects, what else have you been doing since you retired?'