Cannabis Dispensary Worker Gifts

'Take two tokes of weed, Mrs Grunfield, and call me in the morning.'

'Great news this quarter! Losses are up in smoke, profits are high, and we're seeing lots of green!'

"I'll faithfully follow any diet plan as long as you also prescribe medical marijuana."

Cannabis: Anti-seizure Medication

"I believe you'll like our company. We pay our employees time and a fifth."

Where 'Turkey Bacon" Comes From

The discoverer of fire meets the discoverer of marijuana

"Made with a little extra TLC – and THC for good measure."

"On second thought, just give me the ham and forget the roast beef."

"Remember that '70s TV show 'What's Happening'!? Did they ever come up with an answer?" "I don't know, but it makes me wonder if Marvin Gaye found out what's going on." "The black hole of cannabis-induced queries"

'Once again, I fold.'

'Why do you always win at cards but not horses? I can't shuffle the horses.'

"Shoulda brought the weed."

"Dopamine Casino. Gambling that makes you feel like gambling."

Old men,"I have terrible trouble with my joints..the cannabis keeps falling out."

The Deli Llama

Tonto Casino.

"It says it's the vodka that's distilled twenty-nine times - they just can't seem to get it right."

'They ought to change the name of this deli to The Cramer - they get it wrong 50 of the time.'

"Medical marijuana hotline...press hash to continue."

Cannabis Dispensary: Walk-ins awkwardly trying to look nonchalant welcome!

'Says here, a disgruntled employee brought a gun into the liquor distillery today...to the gills!'

"You come highly recommended. I like that."

"All agreed? We buy low and sell high."

"We only do salads. There's no need to keep warning customers that the plates are cold."

'Las Vegas: What happens here, is a lot less than what was happening here two years ago.'

Pharmaco. He writes drug side effect warnings. Ah, a health scare provider.

'Hey, that's a bad roll. Let's try that again.'

"I guess the tomatoes were just a gateway plant."

The Peacock Is Not Renowned For His Bluffing Abilities

'Sorry, folks - no drinking at the bar - video poker only.'

"Could you give me enough medicinal cannabis so that I forget about Brexit?"

I'd like it sliced thin for sandwiches.

"I've tried Buddhism, Taoism, Transendental meditation, Confucionism, Theolog, Scientgology....but I've found a good hand rolled joint of homegrown works best!"

"Looks like we left out the wrong brownies."