Cannabis Industry Worker Gifts

'Great news this quarter! Losses are up in smoke, profits are high, and we're seeing lots of green!'

"I'll faithfully follow any diet plan as long as you also prescribe medical marijuana."

Cannabis: Anti-seizure Medication

"I believe you'll like our company. We pay our employees time and a fifth."

"Remember that '70s TV show 'What's Happening'!? Did they ever come up with an answer?" "I don't know, but it makes me wonder if Marvin Gaye found out what's going on." "The black hole of cannabis-induced queries"

"Made with a little extra TLC – and THC for good measure."

The discoverer of fire meets the discoverer of marijuana

"Dopamine Casino. Gambling that makes you feel like gambling."

'Why do you always win at cards but not horses? I can't shuffle the horses.'

"Shoulda brought the weed."

'I wanted you in a position where I felt you could grow.'

Old men,"I have terrible trouble with my joints..the cannabis keeps falling out."

'Take two tokes of weed, Mrs Grunfield, and call me in the morning.'

"It says it's the vodka that's distilled twenty-nine times - they just can't seem to get it right."

Tonto Casino.

'Hey, that's a bad roll. Let's try that again.'

'Las Vegas: What happens here, is a lot less than what was happening here two years ago.'

"Medical marijuana hotline...press hash to continue."

Man to other coming out of Alternative Health Club: 'I had total joint replacement - they switched me from hemp to medical marijuana.'

'Says here, a disgruntled employee brought a gun into the liquor distillery today...to the gills!'

"All agreed? We buy low and sell high."

"You come highly recommended. I like that."

Cannabis Dispensary: Walk-ins awkwardly trying to look nonchalant welcome!

Fracking Zone - Be prepared for anything.

The Peacock Is Not Renowned For His Bluffing Abilities

"I can't wait until we're older so we can get into the cannabis industry. At least then we can make a difference in people's lives."

As a doctor I can only tell you that the jury is still out as regards the benefits of cannabis in a medical context,however it is my personal opinion that this particular sample would make one bitchin spliff.

"I've tried Buddhism, Taoism, Transendental meditation, Confucionism, Theolog, Scientgology....but I've found a good hand rolled joint of homegrown works best!"

"Lately my joints are stiff." "You're rollin' 'em too tight. Try vaping."

"Looks like we left out the wrong brownies."

"Could you give me enough medicinal cannabis so that I forget about Brexit?"

'I'm not sure, but I think illegal gambling is when you win.'