Cannabis Coach Gifts

"Lately my joints are stiff." "You're rollin' 'em too tight. Try vaping."

'Great news this quarter! Losses are up in smoke, profits are high, and we're seeing lots of green!'

Bribes for Jabs

"I'll faithfully follow any diet plan as long as you also prescribe medical marijuana."

Cannabis: Anti-seizure Medication

The discoverer of fire meets the discoverer of marijuana

"Medical marijuana hotline...press hash to continue."

Man to other coming out of Alternative Health Club: 'I had total joint replacement - they switched me from hemp to medical marijuana.'

"Nah, dude, I'm Tokey Bear. Smokey's on vacation. Hey you got any snacks?"

Cannabis Dispensary: Walk-ins awkwardly trying to look nonchalant welcome!

"He's been like that ever since he stopped eating the stuff and began smoking it."

"You come highly recommended. I like that."

Nobody warned Marge that a side effect of a hip replacement is feeling more hippy.

Flo figured that since she was using medical marijuana during chemo, she might as well go hippy retro.

I'm not entirely sure I'm conscious, doc. It occurred to me last night, I am not an individual. I am a colony of 32 trillion individual living cells. Dr. Noodle

"Looks like we left out the wrong brownies."

"My joints... are almost done"

Stoner Dog

"As soon as our state legalizes fireworks, gay marriage, and marijuana - I'm going to start throwing awesome parties you're not invited to."

"I've tried Buddhism, Taoism, Transendental meditation, Confucionism, Theolog, Scientgology....but I've found a good hand rolled joint of homegrown works best!"

"I don't prescribe opioids, but feel free to grab a CBD-laced lollipop on your way out."

'We can do extensive blood work, take x-rays, check your prostate. . .or I could sell you some great weed for $50.'

"Dude, we've struck cannabis oil! We're going to be rich!"

'Wow, the support for legalizing marijuana is really picking up!'

"Any pain relief with the cannabis?"

'No smoking near the building Higgins!'

'Mother, are you sure your marijuana use is purely medicinal?'

CBD Products Every 1/2 Mile

'Hey, a pot...ted plant. Bless you, my man.'

'Easter egg design went from the traditional to the psychedelic design around the time the Easter Bunny began growing and smoking his own Easter basket grass.'

"This is our new HR department, where we nurture and raise talent!"

"The 'Recreational Use of Marijuana' proposal passed in this state."

"Have you seen my stash?" "No. But have you seen the giant flying fire breathing chickens in the kitchen?!"

'I'm making pot pie.'

Hemp Bombs