Canine Conjurer Gifts

"I've taught him to do tricks, he wants you to pick a card."

Bright Idea

A woman drawing birds makes them fly around the room.

Human Recources Management

'You can fill your teddy bear with stuffing or with a demonic spirit summoned from the nether regions.'

'Think, son! What was that formula you fed that tree?!'

'I've forgotten the author and title - do you read minds?'

Guitars in Heaven

Goldylocks and the Three Beers.

'You just don't know when to give up, do you?'

'There's been an update. Instead of abracadabra, it's option/control key.'

"Shhh - he's trying open his third nostril."

Try typing "wishes," then hold down the "command" key.

You ever wonder what would've happened if Nintendo had never existed? There'd have been no Mario Bros., and since Sega created Sonic to compete, there'd be no Sonic. And without those, the market wouldn't have been big enough to interest Sony. So … no Playstation. And no Playstation, no Xbox. Several generations of awkward teens would've had to come up with other excuses not to go outside. Sometimes I wonder if it rained where I grew up.

Fallen Angel.

"Let 'em try to regulate this!"

Balancing Act.

'Life! Give my conversation liiiife!'

"She works best in hex mode."

'Dad says you can throw your voice. Toss it here.'

Moments Later, David Blaine Would Be Crushed Into Nothingness.

"The usual, please."

"I have to know how it's done."

Magician producing the Euro

Coffee Coven

Hudibras - 8 - Hudibras beats Sidrophel, and his man Whachum.

"He's starting to make coffee in the mailbox, isn't he?"

"I bark, therefore I am."

"Now that we taped some inspiration to a wall, we can finally start staring with our arms crossed while making the 'hmmmm' sound."

Alien Magician

Meditation for dogs

'You do good web design, but there's not a lot of variety in it.'

'Eye of newt, toe of frog, ear of bat and tongue of dog - everything but bloody coffee!'

Makeup! Makeup! Makeup!

'He's a wizard. He came with the software.'