Canine Bard Gifts

"I think that I shall never see a tree on which I wouldn't pee."

'On your mark. Get set. Create!'

'Oh, it's a long, long time...From here to November...'

"It turns out crows find a bunch of dead crows more frightening than a man made out of hay."

'How's everyone doing tonight - that is the question.'

The Proust of Twitter

'No thanks, I don't drink when I'm driving home a point about investing.'

Baseball batting cage theater La Cage Aux Folles.

Now may not be a good time,he just found out he's not going to live forever.

"And this little piggy went – whoa! Where is your fifth little piggy?!"

"This next one is a typical blues number about exceeding your data plan limit, cracking your ipad screen, and losing your new ear buds."

Cow writer.

'Insofar as hard figures are still unavailable, our Mr.Rendleman has written a poem which explores the essence of the firm's situation.'

Shakespeare in the clink

The Music of Life (in the key of dna).

"Now this is a Francis Ford Coppola. We still haven't been here quite long enough to be drinkable ourselves."

"You'd like a book by Shakespeare? Certainly sir - which one. . .?"

"Renovating your bathroom?"

John takes a personivacation.

'You don't want to show favouritism Bruce-it upsets the others.'

"I saw the wariness in your eyes when you learned that I was plucked from academia to run this company, so I thought I'd allay your concerns by writing this sonnet."

"Langsford, will you please stop interjecting quotes from Kahlil Gibran?"

I wrote a poem about our failure to capture and secure the highway. It's called "The Road Not taken."

"To be or not to have been...no, that won't do. To be or not to be, that is the conundrum. Hmmm..."

'...when all at once I saw a bunch, a bunch of golden daffodils...no, it still doesn't sound right.'

"But the best thing about getting neutered, Gus, is that I'm finally able to focus on my novel-in-progress without any distractions!"

'Errors were made, things were said, people got hurt.'

Grange Hildegard.

"The menu simply says 'Fried Fish.' I'm waiting for you to provide the lyrical description."

Romance novel writers make the best waiters. 'Tonight's special is chicken: ample,milky white breasts, touched with a slight hesitation of strong,rigid basil, too headstrong to stay and too scared to stop.'

"More sonnets and tragedies? You know the big money is in children's books, right Shakespeare?"

The British Hamlet ('Alas poor Yorick, I knew him ...I say 'knew', more of an acquaintance really ...')

Pirate

If cows would write fairy tales...

"It's a novel about quarterly reports."