Urban Bard Gifts

"This next one is a typical blues number about exceeding your data plan limit, cracking your ipad screen, and losing your new ear buds."

'On your mark. Get set. Create!'

"Babe, I'm gonna leave you... It may take a few eons, but I am definitely gonna leave you..."

'Oh, it's a long, long time...From here to November...'

"It turns out crows find a bunch of dead crows more frightening than a man made out of hay."

'How's everyone doing tonight - that is the question.'

The Proust of Twitter

"There it was again...SOOIE! And then she realized the pig call was coming from inside the house!"

'No thanks, I don't drink when I'm driving home a point about investing.'

Now may not be a good time,he just found out he's not going to live forever.

"He just found that 'pillage' rhymes with 'village'."

"And this little piggy went – whoa! Where is your fifth little piggy?!"

'Insofar as hard figures are still unavailable, our Mr.Rendleman has written a poem which explores the essence of the firm's situation.'

I'm getting an ample full taste... I'm getting whimsical... I'm getting 'red'

Shakespeare in the clink

"In every situation, an executive has to decide whether to lead by consensus, charisma or cattle prod. Trust me... it's not always this easy!"

"The interest rate can't go any lower, so if necessary, we'll have to go back to pounds of flesh."

My first mistake.

'I miss the rarefied atmosphere of Mt. Olympus.'

"You'd like a book by Shakespeare? Certainly sir - which one. . .?"

'Figures can be misleading - So I've written a song which I think expresses the real story of the firms performance this quarter.'

"I'll have the chicken or the eggs benedict—whichever of them comes first."

To tweet, or not to tweet - that is the question. Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer the snark and the venomous replies of anonymous jerks

"I think that I shall never see a tree on which I wouldn't pee."

Executive MFA

'To tweet or not to tweet...'

'To blog or not to blog, that is the question...' Shakespeare in the 21st Century

'You don't want to show favouritism Bruce-it upsets the others.'

'How did it go?' 'We had an exchange of views...I went in with my views and came out with hers!'

"To be or not to have been...no, that won't do. To be or not to be, that is the conundrum. Hmmm..."

"Langsford, will you please stop interjecting quotes from Kahlil Gibran?"

"I saw the wariness in your eyes when you learned that I was plucked from academia to run this company, so I thought I'd allay your concerns by writing this sonnet."

I wrote a poem about our failure to capture and secure the highway. It's called "The Road Not taken."

'...when all at once I saw a bunch, a bunch of golden daffodils...no, it still doesn't sound right.'

"But the best thing about getting neutered, Gus, is that I'm finally able to focus on my novel-in-progress without any distractions!"