Office Bard Gifts

The business world is crying out for English majors...

'Errors were made, things were said, people got hurt.'

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

No, I didn't know they were going to cut the office furniture budget in half.

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

"Yes Sir, I'm still working on the 'ins and outs' of their proposal."

'On your mark. Get set. Create!'

"It turns out crows find a bunch of dead crows more frightening than a man made out of hay."

'Oh, it's a long, long time...From here to November...'

In many ways this is the perfect job! Out. Out.

'Office Woofers. For the quiet and obnoxious boss.'

Lumbar support animal

"And now, a little theorem for all you lovers out there."

The Proust of Twitter

Presentation: Thinking each other are idiots.

"Well, all the symptoms of just another typical case of burnout, I'm afraid."

'How did the 'I want you all to take a pay cut or leave' strategy go down?'

'I can't give you a raise, a promotion or a bigger office, but I AM going to allow you to have a personality.'

"What's the problem? We told you when you started you'd have to make some sacrifices."

The vice-president in charge of sincerity

'Would you all please congatulate...'

'Yes, we do have an incentive scheme.We call it 'continued employment'.'

'I recognize the face ... I just can't pin down the name.'

'No thanks, I don't drink when I'm driving home a point about investing.'

'I didn't come in to hear that I'm burning the candle at both ends. I came for more wax.'

Stop saying 'You're the boss' I KNOW I'm the boss!

''A desk job.' That's what they called it at the interview.' 'Same here.' 'SHH!'

Now may not be a good time,he just found out he's not going to live forever.

'Tell your boss we represent an independent watchdog committee.'

InIn by-products.

"He treated associates like he treated his plants."

If you really need permanent staff for IMMEDIATE cover then we could pull out all the stops and get someone by next October.

"And this little piggy went – whoa! Where is your fifth little piggy?!"

"This next one is a typical blues number about exceeding your data plan limit, cracking your ipad screen, and losing your new ear buds."

Man on beach blowing up an inflatable office.