Boardroom Bard Gifts

'Figures can be misleading - So I've written a song which I think expresses the real story of the firms performance this quarter.'

'Harris, is that your gut-instinct we're hearing or are you just belly-aching?'

"Oh, for Pete's sake! He walks the walk and he talks the talk...MUST he also sing the songs?"

'Insofar as hard figures are still unavailable, our Mr.Rendleman has written a poem which explores the essence of the firm's situation.'

"At times like this, I wish I were a poet."

"He talks the talk, he walks the walk. Must he also sing the songs?"

'Sir, I suggest we analyze our current cash flow situation in light of the obvious thematic parallels it has with several classic short stories!'

'How did it go?' 'We had an exchange of views...I went in with my views and came out with hers!'

'Errors were made, things were said, people got hurt.'

The buck stops here. However, ultimately it gets passed on to activist stockholders who want to run the show.

"In every situation, an executive has to decide whether to lead by consensus, charisma or cattle prod. Trust me... it's not always this easy!"

'I miss the rarefied atmosphere of Mt. Olympus.'

"You do all the work, and I make all the decisions. That's why I make 1,000% more money than you."

"I want to name this project AWESOME. Figure out what that's a good acronym for."

"I saw the wariness in your eyes when you learned that I was plucked from academia to run this company, so I thought I'd allay your concerns by writing this sonnet."

Man reaching in pocket - "This is the price you have to pay for success."

Executive MFA

"And need I remind you, the 'art of the deal' is the lifeblood of this company."

'Okay...3.5 billion in stock, 2.5 billion in cash, 80 million in deferred compensation, my own private jet, a luxury car lease for the next ten years, 3 club memberships and...

'To close the deal, I had to make some minor concessions.'

"'Meetingpalooza' sounded better in the brochure."

Dogs reviewing organizational chart - 'Hunter can eat Spanky or Fido, Spanky can eat Spot or Duke,....' and so on.

'I'm part of the decision-making process... I'm the 'No' part.'

'No thanks, I don't drink when I'm driving home a point about investing.'

Now may not be a good time,he just found out he's not going to live forever.

"And this little piggy went – whoa! Where is your fifth little piggy?!"

Acme Toys Ltd

They loved the presentation on competing in the marketplace.

'I'm moving up to be Chairperson of the Board. One of you will be President.'

"However, we're doing rather well, according to uninformed sources."

Try to hold your audience's attention when giving a presentation.

'We were able to make a quick alliance together because of common insecurities.'

The wetsuit preferred by 9 out of 10 executive windsurfers.

"I now propose a 5 minute break so we can confide with our dogs."

"Irma, cancel all my appointments for the next 3 weeks, I need to go home to brood. Tell the board to only contact me on my mobile phone..."